Your morning roundup for Dec. 21, the day we learned dick jokes don't always fly in Wisconsin. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

What we watched: The Beef ‘O' Brady's Bowl featuring FIU and Marshall. After the game, a brief scuffle broke out on the field involving excessive finger pointing and angry stares. Nothing really happened, but Marshall proceeded to jump up and down in jubilation as FIU ambled off the field. Nothing like obnoxiously celebrating your 7-6 record after Beef ‘O' Brady's Bowl supremacy.


What we're watching (all times EST, unless noted): Miami at Orlando in NBA preseason basketball at 7 (NBATV). Texas at North Carolina in men's college basketball at 7 (ESPN2). Philadelphia at Dallas in NHL hockey at 7:30 (Versus). TCU vs. Louisiana Tech in the Poinsettia Bowl at 8 (ESPN). Oklahoma State vs. Alabama in men's college basketball at 9 (ESPN2). Los Angeles Lakers at Los Angeles Clippers in NBA preseason basketball at 10:30 (NBATV).


Read Me

Tears of joy: "Take a typical high school halfback. Walks around the halls with his chest out, fancies himself a bit of a badass. On gameday, he feels fleet, agile, cocky. The play comes in from the sideline-running play, up the gut-and as the huddle breaks, he's putting a poker face while mentally prepping to become a human cannonball. Then, something unsettling. The linebacker in the slot. He's-wait, he's sobbing. Not out of fear, or pain, or shame. It's more of a smiling, loopy, just-got-engaged kind of sobbing. He's so geeked to knock the shit out of someone that he's actually weeping with joy. Our typical high school halfback has probably just turned into a prey species against this very atypical linebacker. How the hell is someone supposed to want it worse than a guy who cries during the snap count?" [The Classical]


This Date In Deadspin History

Dec. 21, 2008: LeBron: Don't Start Printing Those #23 Knicks Jerseys Just Yet



Access to Mr. Met is worth $20 million: "Of course, the owners of the Mets, who have spent the last four months trying to line up 10 or so minority partners, have some long-term upsides to sell: the $20 million would buy 4 percent of a New York City sports franchise that, history instructs, is likely to rise in value over time. But for those perhaps uncertain over whether to part with their millions, the owners have listed some less obvious perks that would come with a share of the Queens ball club. Access to Mr. Met, the team mascot, although the degree of access is not entirely spelled out. It definitely means you, as a part-owner, can schmooze with Mr. Met at Citi Field. It's less clear whether you could get him to come to your child's birthday party without a fee." [NYT]


You don't have to call him Metta: "Feel free to call me anything yal want. Don't feel bad if yal call me Ron:))" [@MettaWorldPeace]

Your Freestyle Soccer Tricks Interlude:

The Chicago Bulls' future is secure: "Derrick Rose has agreed to a five-year, $94.8 million contract extension, and the Bulls will make the formality official at a Wednesday news conference at the Berto Center, sources told the Tribune. ‘It's something big,' Rose said without confirming the announcement. ‘I'm going to talk about it more with my family there. I don't think about money. The Bulls show they trust me. I just feel blessed.'" [Chicago Tribune]


Another former NFLer with brain issues: Everything is coming up roses - or, given the season, poinsettias—except for this: [Ben] Utecht has frightening gaps in his memory. He has no recollection, for instance, of the wedding of a close friend, though Utecht was a groomsman and sang at the ceremony. Utecht suffered five concussions he knows of in his football career: two at the University of Minnesota, two with the Indianapolis Colts and one with the Cincinnati Bengals. The last one, during training camp in 2009, ended his career. He worries about what's ahead. ‘Will I experience early-onset dementia in my 50s? Will I experience more issues with amnesia or headaches or behavioral changes? All of these things are consequences of brain injury. I think now that I'm aware of them—especially now that I'm the father of three beautiful little girls—it's definitely in my heart and on my mind. I'd be lying to you if I said it wasn't.'" [USA Today]

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