Football Page 1256 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joe Buck Is Attempting To Grow A Beard
Joe Buck is an old pal of ours, so I must express some alarm at his current approach to facial grooming. It appears to be having a significant and negative effect on his colleagues, as seen before yesterday's Broncos-49ers game in Denver. The power of Joe Buck's protobeard has put Terry Bradshaw to...

Jerry Jones Grounds Dez Bryant
Dez Bryant can't go to strip clubs anymore and has to be driven to practice and games by some omnipresent security force. He also has a midnight curfew, unless he tells the Cowboys that he will not be abiding the midnight curfew. With advance notice, of course....


49ers First NFL Team To Film An "It Gets Better" Video
In response to a Change.org petition, the 49ers became the first football team to endorse It Gets Better, which assures LGBT teens that things are looking up. Donte Whitner, Ahmad Brooks, Isaac Sopoaga, and Ricky Jean Francois appear in the video. Next up: How about a You Can Play?...

Remembering Steve Van Buren, Who Almost Slept Through The NFL Championship Game
On Dec. 19, 1948, the Philadelphia Eagles played the Chicago Cardinals for the NFL championship in a heavy blizzard. Running back Steve Van Buren almost didn't make it there that day. Let's let Ray Didinger of CSN Philly explain why:...

That Time Toby Gerhart Got Adrian Peterson's Sports Car Stuck In The Snow
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: a tale of two running backs....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Report: Ball State Players Caught Trying To Shoplift "Male Enhancement Pills"
It has not been a good day for Ball State defensive end Jonathan Newsome, seen here during happier times in 2009, after securing a trip to the Rose Bowl as a member of Ohio State. Newsome transferred to Ball State last year and was ready to join the team after sitting out his redshirt season. Except...

Going To A Ravens Game Might Give You Rabies, Apparently
Bats! At the Ravens game! So says NBC Washington:...

Jerry Jones Isn't Worried About Replacement Refs, Because There's Still Instant Replay
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Ol' Jer hasn't noticed a difference between the new and old refs anyway....

The Details Of Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner's Child Porn Charges Are Horrifying
Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner's been charged formally with felony counts of using his own children in a sexual performance and possession of child pornography, and the details outlined in the charges are unpleasant to read. The videos, featuring three children under the age of te...

Why Your Website Sucks, By Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe: A Rebuttal
Some people are fans of Deadspin's Why Your Team Sucks previews. But now the shoe's on the other foot! Suck on this, you cocksuckers....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. For a rebuttal, see Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's "Why Your Web...

Jon Gruden Is Gonna Get Two Hotel Rooms For All His Bitches, Bill Belichick's Dick Is Hard, And Other Things We Learned From Warren Sapp's New Book
You may know Warren Sapp from his 13 years as an All-Pro NFL defensive tackle, or perhaps from his recent legal foray, the YouTube series "Judge Sapp." Or maybe you watch him on the NFL Network or follow his busy Twitter feed. Well, if you didn't have enough platforms to access Warren Sapp, now you ...

Scott Pioli Says He's Happy To Be Rid Of Todd Haley In The Most Passive-Aggressive Way Possible
This story was published Friday evening, so it fell a bit below our radar. But it's still worth sharing because, well ... you'll see. It involves Chiefs general manager Scott Pioli, and his take on training camp now that Todd Haley is no longer the team's head coach. Oh, wait. Pioli doesn't really s...

32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The <em>Football Outsiders Almanac 2012</em>
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12.50 or order the printed book from Amazon....

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner Reportedly Booked For "Using Minors In A Sexual Performance"
The possible charges for Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner continue to grow as the Mankato Free Press is now reporting he's been booked on requested charges of using minors in a sexual performance....

Bristolmetrics: The Jets Are America's Team, According To Tebow-Horny <em>SportsCenter</em>
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Is "Meaner Than Anyone In The World," Writes Little Girl
The trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner: not doing so hot. "Aesthetically dead if not actually dead," the university said last week. (Still, they might be doing better than Harvey Updyke, who is living in his car in the woods as he awaits trial.) The oaks received a massive pruning earlier this month,...