Football Page 1423 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ravens Fan Pays For Treason With Mild Electrocution
If you're going to bet against your team, do the world a favor and make sure the wager provides for some excellent physical humor. Like an electric dog fence, for example....

NFC Wild Card Open Thread: Packers-Cardinals
Kurt Warner could hang it up after this one. Meanwhile, we're getting unsubstantiated chain letters about Aaron Rodgers giving 100 disadvantaged kids Christmas presents. Which beloved quarterback shall rule them all? Discuss it here....

Sanchize To Carroll: Stay In School
A year after the then-USC coach called him out for leaving for the NFL, Mark Sanchez gave Pete Carroll a taste of his own medicine....

AFC Wild Card Open Thread: Ravens-Patriots
Ravens fans are all getting inked up. Patriots fans are feeling kinda "meh." Team that plays in the suburbs vs. team whose fans live in the suburbs - who ya got? Talk amongst yourselves in the comments....

Alabama Celebrates As Only Alabama Can (Updates)
With the Coaches' Trophy on display at Tuscaloosa Walmarts, we're awash in photos of Alabama goobers posing with a crystal egg in front of Dr Pepper pyramids. Send us any more you can find, and we'll add to our gallery....

Marshawn Lynch Is All About The Jacksons
We thought quiet little Buffalo would be good for the troubled Lynch. We thought wrong, as the RB couldn't avoid the criminal breeding grounds of the T.G.I. Friday's at the mall, where he's accused of stealing $20 from a woman....

NFC Wild Card Open Thread: Eagles-Cowboys
"We had Mike McMahon. We had Rodney Peete and Ty Detmer and who was the kid from Ohio? Bobby Hoying!...For 10 years, we've had no quarterback problems — none. Where are people's memories?" So sayeth Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell. Discuss....

AFC Wild Card Open Thread: Jets-Bengals
The Bengals are angry about something or other. The Jets are angry about something or other, too, despite being heavily favored to win the Super Bowl, according to the Rex Ryan Sports Book and Bingo Parlor. Discuss in the comments....

Tommy Tuberville Gets The Keys To The Texas Tech Shed
Tuberville, late of Auburn, is Mike Leach's replacement at Texas Tech, according to Ivan Maisel's sewing circle. A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow. [ESPN]...

Seahawks Shack Up With Pete Carroll As If He Were A Grad Student Living In Malibu
Pete Carroll has come to terms with Seattle, according to the stuffed animals at Adam Schefter's tea party. He'll be introduced just as soon as the Seahawks find a minority in whom to feign interest. [ESPN]...

Pats Owner Just Wants To Watch The World Burn
Tough week for Robert Kraft. First his truckload of illegal immigrants gets pulled over on its way to shovel the stadium. Now his driver gets ticketed for refusing to move Kraft's ride when a fire truck needed to get through....

Seahawks About To Land Pete Carroll?
"Pete Carroll is the guy Seahawks are targeting. It is expected to happen," according to Chris Mortensen's imaginary friends. [@mortreport, LAT]...

BREAKING: Jim Mora Fired
Jay Glazer just tweeted the news a couple minutes ago. And Glazer is blissfully never wrong. I've always thought Jim Mora 2 looks like an Eskimo. That's probably a wrong assumption....

Chin Blossoms: Buffalonians Begin The Cowher Chase In Earnest
Raiders, Bengals and Bears fans have all purchased billboards calling for their teams to clean house in the front office. But those are angry, angry cities. The salt-of-the-earth folk in Upstate New York prefer more constructive advice on their roadsides....

Your State Of The Buzzsaw Address
For the second consecutive year, I'm heading to the Pink Taco in Glendale for playoff game hosted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. I'm not sure enough people appreciate how strange that is....

USF Figuratively Punches Jim Leavitt In The Face
FanHouse reports that South Florida has fired slappy Jim Leavitt, the coach who allegedly grabbed a walk-on by the throat and hit him twice in the face. Somehow, this will be blamed on Adam James, too. [FanHouse]...

Last Night's Winner: Joyless Robot Prigs
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nick Saban, recipient of history's unhappiest Gatorade bath, a coach who won a national championship but would probably fail a Turing test....

We Wanted A Game; We Got A Circus
Trick plays, failed trick plays, and a freshman QB thrust into the spotlight. Let's take a look at the storylines and screengrabs of the night....

The Rich Gannon Hissy Fit Gets Hissier
Gannon The Cannon offers the Raiders his help. Team responds by opining that he's the one who needs help. Now, now, children. You're both right. (Ed note: We will always use this photo for Gannon posts.) [Oakland Tribune]...

Patriots Workers Stopped In Immigration Sting
Gillette Stadium hired dozens of workers to shovel snow from the field, and apparently had them sent in from Guatemala, by way of Rhode Island....