Football Page 1440 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Plaxico Burress Is History's Greatest Monster Because He Stole A Punter's Number
It's standard operating procedure for newly acquired players to get their favored jersey number, but only after compensating the owner. It's been five years, and Burress still owes Jeff Feagles a new kitchen....

Oregon State Lineman Gets Naked, Tased
The college football arrest of the year award was handed out early, as a Beaver freshmen snuck into a house, stripped nude, and attempted to tackle officers....

Al Michaels And Cris Collinsworth Are Far Too Aware Of The Spread
Can we drop the charade and acknowledge that the only people watching the fourth quarter, third stringers of a preseason game are degenerate gamblers? The announcers analyzing a "meaningless" safety certainly knew how to play to the crowd....

Introducing Shawn Andrews: NFL Lineman, Aspiring Rap Impresario, Depression Sufferer
As beefing up their division rivals' rosters go, the Philadelphia Eagles rule. First was the QB to Washington. Now, the former All-Pro O-lineman they released in March signs with New York....

Today In Incongruous Rap Anthems: Jordan Shipley
Everyone thank MC Howley for this loving tribute to Bengals rookie Jordan Shipley. H/T MKM...

Percy Harvin Collapses, Has Name Changed
Vikings all-everything Percy Harvin, suffering from a migraine during practice, vomited on the sidelines and collapsed. He was taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance and caused ESPN copy-editors to miss a typo which referred to Harvin as "Migraine." H/T six tipsters....

What Gets Wetter As It Dries, And Is Also A Giant Penis? Chad Ochocinco's Dick Towel
"Ladies only—after my surgery," he Tweets. I give it 0.7 Shiancoes. [TwitPic]...

Stories That Don't Suck: Colt McCoy And The Texas Quarterback Miracle
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Colt McCoy, quarterback of quarterbacks....

Brett Favre's Press Conference, Remixed Flatulently
Brett Favre held a press conference today to officially announce he was returning to the Vikings for one more failed Super Bowl run. While he discussed the physical toll that the game has taken on him, it became clear: Brett's really old....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 1
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 1: "Fuck" narrowly edges "shit."...

Mystery Solved? Arkansas Reporter Was Supposedly Fired For Using Twitter, Not For Her Florida Hat
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: an unemployed radio reporter and her ex-boss....

Tremendous Johnson's Long Hard Road To Madden
Anyone can succeed with the NFL's actual superstars in Madden 11, but there's a certain joy in finding fictional prospects from franchise mode...Wait, is that guy's name really Tremendous Johnson? Time to investigate....

A Look Inside The NFL's Drug Testing Methods, Chad Ochocinco's Bladder
Mr. Ochocino found this note taped to his locker yesterday. It's just the high-tech, low-margin-for-error procedure we've come to expect from the NFL's steroid testing....

Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News
"Warner has talked to movie producers interested in making Warner's life story. Kurt's wife Brenda wants Denzel Washington play the lead." That concludes Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News. [Pro Football Talk, H/T Disco Choo]...

Philip Rivers Is Hearing Voices, But He Doesn't Have Ryan Mathews' Bladder Issues
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Chargers QB Philip Rivers....

Renee Gork Received Death Threats Because She Wore A Florida Hat
In an interview with TJ Carpenter on Fayetteville ESPN affiliate The Ticket 92.1 Renee Gork claimed she has received death threats and that she didn't purposefully wear the Florida hat to the Arkansas press conference she attended that lead to her dismissal....

FAVRE-ING: FAVRE ON HIS WAY TO FAVRE ON FAVRE-BOUND FAVRE
Brett Favre is on a plane that is possibly headed towards Minnesota. The muffled shouting you hear is Tarvaris Jackson screaming while submerged in the locker room ice bath. [NFL.com]...

Just <em>Liking</em> The Florida Gators Will Get You Fired
After yesterday's kerfuffle regarding the Cincinnati media members that asked for Tim Tebow's autograph, it's fitting that another University of Florida graduate is involved in a media scandal. Meet Renee Gork; fired by an Arkansas sports radio network for going to UF....

Concussions Killed Lou Gehrig, Killing NFL Players
The drumbeat to address concussions in football just grew a little louder, with a new study that links brain trauma to a very ALS-like disease. Lou Gehrig himself may have contracted his namesake disease that very way....

Jets Superfan, Giants Superdrunk Exchange Shoves
Because you asked for it (with your eyes. I can tell), here's Fireman Ed getting into it with an unsteady Giants fan. As always, the only acceptable rooting interest is for the meteorite....