Football Page 1449 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

But How Can He Talk To The Cops If His Jaw Is Broken?
The Raiders' assistant who was (allegedly) cracked by Tom Cable is now going to talk to the police, since he's determined that his career with the Raiders is probably now over. He's quick. [National Football Post]...

Father Chooses Alabama Football Player Over His Own Daughter In "Lovers' Quarrel"
Alabama sophomore Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend were both arrested and charged with domestic violence/harassment last night—and the father of the girl is not happy. After all, it's completely his daughter's fault for picking on that poor linebacker....

Buccaneers' Aqib Talib Jumps On The Arrest Bandwagon
Is all this terrible legal trouble dissuading NFL players from punching people in the head? Not Tampa's Aqib Talib! Busted last night for simple battery and resisting arrest. What would be considered "complicated battery?"...

Chris Cooley Opens Up About Jim Zorn And Other Things
"He does not like short shorts; I was directly made aware of that. But it's not like he's a jerk about it. He'll just talk to you." [Washingtonian]...

Plaxico Burress Heading To Jail
In a surprise twist to an otherwise boring legal hearing, Plaxico Burress plead guilty to attempted criminal possession of a weapon and has accepted a two-year prison term, plus two more years of "supervised release."...

Insensitive NFL Sells Brett Favre Dog Jerseys!
OMG, you guys! Can you believe the Minnesota Vikings are such cold heartless bastards that they would profit off the pain of animals by selling personalized dog jerseys! It's almost like they don't care how ridiculous your pets look!...

Put Your Hand Up If You <em>Don't</em> Own The Dolphins
Not so fast, Williams sisters. Venus and Serena join Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez as minority owners in Miami. "Minority" meaning as opposed to majority owners, not as opposed to white people. [AP]...

Don't Give Out Second Chances Unless You Brought Enough For Everybody
Of all the people to whine about the Michael Vick signing, the most unlikely is Dan Leone, the former game-day employee who was fired after venting his frustations with the team on his Facebook page. Yet here we are....

The Wit And Wisdom Of James Coley
James Coley is Florida State's tight ends coach and recruiting coordinator, not to mention a prolific Twitterer whose prose style evokes both Cobra Commander and a fortune cookie that wants to kill you. Can u FEEL it?...

Ben Roethlisberger's Lawyers Stay On The Offensive
Big Ben's legal team released a series of emails and instant messages sent by his accuser that they say "prove" he did not rape that woman, Andrea McNulty. If IM messages are now irrefutable evidence, then may I suggest this....

Nick Schuyler Explains What Went Wrong
The lone survivor of the boating accident that took the lives of three football players gave his first news interview since being rescued from the waters of the Gulf of Mexico in March....

Bookies Have A Good Feeling About This Florida Team
The Florida Gators are a 73-point favorite in their home opener against Charleston Southern. You will never see a gambler work harder to find a parlay. [Wiz of Odds]...

This Way To The Pajama Party Of The Dead
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Packer Backers No Longer Taking This So Well
Maybe Dash gave you the impression that all Packer fans are being their typical polite Midwestern selves with this whole Favre business. He failed to go where even the most reserved Wisconsinite transforms into a slobbering, bloodthirsty, illiterate neanderthal: Craigslist....

Words That Cris Carter Shouldn't Use During Live Television
me·shug·ge·neh (m-shg-n) or me·shug·ge·ner (-nr) adj. Crazy; senseless.n. One who is crazy. [ESPN/YouTube]...

Antrel Rolle Blames Fumble On His Silky Smooth Arms
The hellish, back-breaking death march of professional football has claimed many victims, but perhaps none more tragically than Cardinals safety Antrel Rolle, who dropped a crucial preseason punt because his arms were over-moisturized. The horror.......

Packer Fans Are A Bubbling Volcano Of Rage
Early reaction from Green Bay: "It just bugs me that he changes his mind." "It's up to him, I guess." "It would make for a fun season." Whoa, whoa. Come back from the ledge, guys! It's only football! [Press-Gazette, Pic]...

Tim Tebow And His Even Dirtier GQ Pictures
The Sideline Princess shoot was fine, but those aren’t even the naughtiest pictures of a Florida alum in GQ this month. The lurid full-page centerfold of a sweaty, shirtless Tim Tebow is positively filthy....and comes with drooling prose to match....

Tom Cable Denies Breaking His Assistant's Jaw, Players Rejoice Anyway
Tom Cable says no punches were thrown, but given the reaction to the non-incident by some Raiders, that seems a little suspicious. [ESPN/PFT]...