Football Page 1489 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Randy Hanson Keeps It In Perspective
After learning that former boss Tom Cable would not face charges for breaking his jaw, Hanson said: "It felt like the Rob Lytle fumble all over again." He's like the Al Davis of terrible analogies. [Yahoo]...

Beer In The Bathroom: The Circle Of Life
Drew mentioned this earlier, but it bears further examination. The Redskins are selling beer in FedExField bathrooms? Holy crap, that's awesome. And unsanitary....

Justin Fargas Has A Theory About That Special Teams Pigeon
"Yeah, it was definitely a strange event seeing that bird flying out there. It seemed comfortable on the football field and comfortable lying down there literally on special teams. It very well could have been Marquis [Cooper]." [Via]...

Cheddar Plax Jokes Get NYPD In Hot Water
You shoot yourself in the leg, people are going to say you pulled a Plaxico. Sorry, that's how it is. But one teen is suing the cops for making just that obvious joke....

No Charges To Be Filed Against Tom Cable
The Napa County DA just announced that Raiders coach Tom Cable will not be prosecuted for any crimes as a result of a "tussle" that broke the jaw of assistant Randy Hanson....

From D1 To X-Rated?
Chase Mejia was set to play WR at Kansas State, but he may have found a career more his style. I think you can guess which career from the (very cropped) photo....

Old People Who Love 20-Year-Old Boys
Looks like this guy has competition for the old person most devoted to their team; a 71-year-old woman refused to call the hospital after breaking her hip until the Iowa game ended. [KCRG]...

Eric Mangini Deserves Your Scorn ... But How Much Scorn?
Rolling Stone magazine's insult comic dog Matt Taibbi recently took a break from his assault on capitalist swine like Goldman Sachs to turn his wrath on a bigger and more menacing target—Cleveland Browns coach Eric Mangini....

You Can Have Your Own Temple Of Failure
Since no one wanted to buy it, the Pontiac Silverdome is going up for auction. There's no minimum bid, so there's a very strong chance Wayne Fontes will buy it and move in. [Williams & Williams]...

Jeff Fisher Mental Breakdown Watch, Day 1
The "leader" of the 0-6 Titans showed up to speak at a Nashville luncheon today wearing a Peyton Manning jersey. Said he "just wanted to feel like a winner." See, it's hilarious because he's a failure! [MusicCityMiracles/RecklessLove]...

Apparently, Paul Brown Stadium Is Also A Very Large Public Urinal
Here's a fun fact: Texans' right guard Chris White pissed his pants against the Bengals on Sunday because he was "uncomfortable," but didn't want to come off the field. Don't worry. Jeff Reed's got his back. [Chronicle; Photo]...

CBS Airs More McNair Dirt, Police Beat Them To The Punch
Armen Keteyian promised more lurid details about the Steve McNair murder case today, but the Nashville Police stole his thunder by releasing their own updated report that basically says—"Yeah, we already knew all that."...

Texas A&M Yell Leaders Aren't Doing Aggie Fans Any Favors
The A&M CheerYell Leaders fired up for the K-State game with a stunning rendition of "Ding Dong Song." (NSFW.) And put it on YouTube for some reason. They lost 62-14, but you can't really keep score on embarrassment. [SoYoked]...

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Transfiguration Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Armen Keteyian Will Solve This Steve McNair Business Himself
You probably thought that whole ugly Steve McNair business was over and done with, right? Guess again. You will never be rid of this story, because CBS News is still on the case—the Cold Case, if you will....

Jeff Reed: Defender Of Public Urination
Now we know the real truth behind Jeff Reed's cop trouble last night, and I owe him an apology. Reed was merely trying to defend his teammate—tight end Matt Spaeth—from police intimidation....after Spaeth was caught peeing in public....

Where The Poise Aren't
Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff....

Jeff Reed Still Has The Magic Touch
The Liquor Kicker got cited for public intoxication and disorderly conduct after stumbling from Heinz Field down to McFadden's Bar after the game yesterday. Fortunately, he got pinched by 9 p.m. so he could still get his sleep. [WPXI]...

You Don't Mess With Montana's Communications Students
Following an order from the coach to his team to stop talking to their reporters, Montana's student newspaper struck back in a beautifully catty way: they started covering the Grizzlies' opponents....