Football Page 1519 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why The Lions Belong On Thanksgiving
The Detroit Lions are (arguably, I know) the worst organization in sports. Their incompetence, from the owner to the fans, is legendary. Yet, tradition dictates that every year, just as families arrive at the homes of relatives they don't particularly care for in order to celebrate this giving of Th...
After Abilene Christian's 93-Point Saturday Afternoon, Fans Ask What's Next?
Stuff you may not know about Div. 1-AA II Abilene Christian University: Their quarterback, Billy Don Madison Malone, was once the heir apparent to J.P. Losman at Tulane, and some says he's better. Wilbert Montgomery, who still holds the franchise rushing record for the Philadelphia Eagles, is a prou...
Lil' Wayne Sheds No Tattooed Teardrops for Pacman Jones
ESPN the Mag's extremely productive blogger, Lil' Wayne — the Bob Dylan of our generation — went off in his usual Weezy fashion this week about all things sports related. One Lil' Wayne opinion of note is the rapper's stance on Cowboys' trouble-making defensive back Pacman Jones. Always unpredictabl...
Blue Nail Polish, Cinderella Diapers And You
Brian Urlacher's estranged lady friend, Tyna Robertson, told a Will County Court on Tuesday that she barred Urlacher from seeing their 3-year-old son because Urlacher painted the child's toenails blue and allowed him to wear Cinderella pull-up diapers. Note to Bears fans: This story includes the ter...
Lawrence Tynes To President Bush: Pardon My Brother, Please
Question: Do you know who Lawrence Tynes is without me having to explain that he's the kicker for the New York Giants? Do you think President Bush knows? He did single out Tynes during the Giants post-Super Bowl White House visit, because it was his overtime field goal against Green Bay that sent th...
Lions Fans: Not Even Fit For The Bus
Hard to think of a more fitting metaphor for the Detroit Lions' season than the video below: A poor, stupid Lions fan is kicked off of a bus, and is mocked by the other passengers. Poor, dumb sap. The most hilarious part to me is his final, desperate act of defiance as the vehicle pulls away. Ha. Cl...
Well, That Was Fun While It Lasted...Brady Quinn Probably Out For Season
The Cleveland Browns season just became even more meaningless, thanks to the anonymously sourced- news that Brady Quinn, former starting handsome ball chucker, is most likely out for the season. Quinn attempted to play last Sunday with that fractured index finger, but apparently did more damage to i...
Tuesday Night Live Blog: Western Michigan at #15 Ball State
Please accept the harmonious balance of David Letterman and Tim Allen's alma maters, respectively, to infiltrate your Tuesday night plans. The undefeated Ball State Cardinals welcome the 9-2 WMU Broncos, and the winner is in the MAC Championship game. Fun fact: It's not illegal to shout "jump" in a ...
Matt Ryan Has Won Some of the Black Vote in Atlanta
Interesting story in the New York Times today about Falcons' quarterback Matt Ryan and how he's slowly winning over the large percentage of African-American Falcons' fans, many of whom were decidedly pro-Mike Vick. The timing is excellent too, given that Vick might be coming to a football stadium ne...
Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes
The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless ...
Myron Rolle, Gentleman (Rhodes) Scholar
I'm sure you've heard the tale of Florida State safety Myron Rolle, who won a Rhodes Scholarship on Saturday afternoon in Alabama, then flew to Maryland (on a plane, we assume) played in his team's game that night, then killed a wild boar with his bare hands and fed his entire squad with it at the p...
In These Troubled Times, Why Not Trust Your Money To A Hochuli?
Have some money to invest, but you're not totally sold on the financial genius that is Lenny Dykstra? Why not try Shawn Hochuli, son of embattled NFL referee iron pumper Ed Hochuli? Shawn is a football referee as well, in addition to being a young Gordon Gekko. Hochuli refs in the Big 12, working ga...
A Loaf Of Bread, A Bottle Of Wine, And Tyler Thigpen
KC Magazine—which is devoted to the City of Kansas, not the Sunshine Band—is currently sponsoring a bachelor and bachelorette auction featuring the sexiest singles in the city, to benefit the local chapter of Big Brothers, Big Sisters. Classy, I know. But I defy you to not reach for your wallet afte...
College Football Roundup: At Least You Don't Live In Michigan Edition
Yesterday I landed in Detroit for Thanksgiving. Our first stop upon arriving was an Italian restaurant where my wife's grandmother was celebrating her 80th birthday. I'm standing at the bar watching the the Titans-Jets game on the television and occasionally a sports fan from Michigan wonders by to...
So What Was That Ugly Red Stain on the Field During the Jets-Titans Game?
Yesterday, KOGOD posted an update on the Jets-Titans game that featured what appeared to be an ominous looking giant blood stain in the middle of the field. It was speculated that Albert Haynesworth, who popped up from that spot and ran off the field clutching his face, had some sort of open facial...
So Abilene Christian Scored A Few Points On Saturday
Assuming that the band plays the school fight song following every touchdown, this tuba player most likely fell over dead around about the middle of the third quarter on Saturday. It was Abilene Christian vs. West Texas A&M in the second round of the NCAA Div. II football playoffs, with Abilene pull...
Ravens Slingshot Back Into AFC Playoff Picture
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap Oh, eventually you will stop, Brian Westbrook, yes you will. Baltimore's Althea Barnes makes the play, although where Westbrook's forward progress is marked is anyone's guess. Kind...
Manning at Marmalard: Who You Got?
The Colts and the Chargers face off tonight at Qualcomm Stadium in a battle between two goofy looking quarterbacks. You can be sure that Peyton is trying to forget his crappy performances to start the season and the fact that the Chargers knocked the Colts out of last year's playoffs. Rivers is curr...
The Jets Fly High Over the Titans
After 12 weeks the Tennessee Titans have joined the ranks of the defeated thanks to (sigh) Brett Favre and the New York Jets. Apparently there's been a rather large puddle of blood on the field stemming from an injury to Albert Haynesworth, and from what I understand there have been no efforts made...
Donovan Is Chilly Yet Stylish
Thanks to Christmas Ape for this screengrab of Donovan McNabb strutting his stuff on the sideline in his favorite oversized mittens. So far they don't seem to be working because the Eagles haven't been able to get it downfield, and the quarterback has thrown an interception. Philly and Baltimore ar...