Football Page 1522 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oregon Uniforms Getting Downright Silly
Presenting the only college football jersey that Dick Cheney might try to shoot. Oregon has played 11 games this season and has used 12 different uniform color combinations (I think they changed at halftime during the USC game). This is beginning to confuse even their most ardent supporters. This fe...
Donovan McNabb Would Like To Use One of His Lifelines
OK it's true, Donovan McNabb had no idea that there was such a thing as a tie in the NFL (see video below). But let's not pick on him; it seems that there were several members of the Eagles and Bengals who were unaware of the rule, as unbelievable as that might sound. In what will go down in my hous...
Didn't I See This In A David Lynch Movie?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap. No one's quite sure what's going on in the stands at Auburn, or on the field, for that matter. We presented this photo on Sunday, but the link was buried, and we wanted to make sur...
Sunday Night Is Live Blog Night: Cowboys-Redskins
Hey, Tony Romo is back from his injury! Jerry Jones guaranteed playoffs! And I'm sure there's a compelling story line on the Washington Redskins sideline! But there's no non-jump way to find out. True story. * * * * * Pre-Game Babble Which over-dramatized headline is worse for America: "What's Wrong...
Will Matt Cassel Fetch $10 Million A Year?
Patriots quarterback Matt Cassel, or as we refer to the long-time understudy in my keeper league, "Goddamn Matt Cassel," couldn't have orchestrated a better time for Ton Brady to get injured, as Cassel's contract expires at the end of this season. Rumor has it that Cassel will be seeking "Aaron Rodg...
NFL Update 4: Finishing Your Sunday Drive
San Francisco 35, St. Louis 3. The Rams are done. No, their season isn't technically over, but they've stopped playing. I swore I saw Steven Jackson sitting in the endzone during pregame with a picnic basket. Shaun Hill has thrown for 2 TDs and run for another. Jacksonville 14, Tennessee 3. Could t...
NFL Update 3: Call My Sister, Tell Her To Wear Something Nice
Cincinnati 13, Philadelphia 13, Final (OT). Shayne Graham missed a last minute field goal on great field position from a bogus pass-interference call late in OT. McNabb's three picks kept the Bengals in this one. It's the first tie in the NFL since 2002. Tampa Bay 19, Minnesota 13, Final. Matt Bryan...
NFL Update 2: Being Able To Predict The Lions Futility Does Not Make One Nostradamus
Lions 16, Panthers 24 Haha. Told you. Five minutes after posting the last NFL update that had the Lions up 13-7, the Panthers suddenly realized who their opponent was and decided to actually play a little football. By the way, DeAngelo Williams looks kind of like a stud all of a sudden. Let's bring ...
NFL Update 1: Drinkability!
Yes, the ads have become relentless in a Toyota "Saved by Zero" kind of way, and as Big Daddy Drew has already pointed out they don't really mean anything at all, but isn't it time for us to finally give Drinkability Girl her due? I don't know who she is, and I don't care, but if Bud Light's master...
When Blaming Your Assistant Coaches For Your Own Failures Goes Wrong
Auburn's struggles on the offensive side of the ball this season have been well-documented, but then head coach fired offensive coordinator Tony Franklin and everyone seemed to shut up about it. And this happened despite the fact that Auburn (5-6, 2-5 in the SEC) still can't move the ball when they ...
Start Your Preparations For The Vick Media Onslaught
The most surprising news to come out of this Tim Dahlberg-penned update on the ongoing drama that is The Michael Vick Story is that he's scheduled to get out of jail next July. That's only 8 months away, people! Better start dusting off those old Ron Mexico jokes, post haste. You can't expect to hit...
NFL Week 11: What You Need To Know
Denver (5-4) at Atlanta (6-3). I wonder if Roger Goodell is still upset about Matt Ryan's 6-year, 72-million-dollar contract that the rookie from Boston College signed after being drafted third overall last April. Ryan has to be the frontrunner for Rookie of the Year honors, assuming the reins of an...
Obama: 'I'm Going To Throw My Weight Around' To Get A Playoff
I was really enjoying that four-day stretch where I could leave my TV tuned to sports and not have to hear about Barack Obama. That went down the tubes last night when SportsCenter covered the president-elect's appearance on 60 Minutes, which airs tonight. In his interview with CBS's Steve Croft, Ba...
Hugh 4: The Mediocre ACC Has a Message for You
Not a ton of excitement in the 3:30 games. Perhaps I should be watching the Mormons of BYU battle Air Force? Or is all the action in the battle for the Almighty Wooden Potato in the storied Boise State-Idaho rivalry? The scene in Maryland is rather boring, partially due to the horrible conditions. C...
Hugh 3: Gators Sticking it to Cocks Early
A wacky finish to the Notre Dame-Navy game in which the Midshipman recovered two on-side kicks, used seemingly four time outs, and almost rallied to beat the Irish for a second straight year. Alas, Charlie Weis lives to see another day. In other early game finals, Ohio State and Penn State took care...
The Promising Backups That Paved the Way for Matt Cassel's Padded Bank Account
Continuing with our economic theme today, the market outlook seems awfully bullish for New England Patriots backup turned starter Matt Cassel. After his big time coming out party on Thursday night, in which Bill Simmons drunkenly compared him to John Elway, Cassel looks to have set himself up for qu...
Brace Yourselves ... There's Another Baby Mangino ...
Ok, I did not see this one coming. Believe it or not, there are least two different families somewhere in the United States that decided that the perfect Halloween costume for their young infant was to dress him up like Kansas football coach Mark Mangino. What are the odds of that happening twice in...
The Packers Are One Step Closer to that Second Round Draft Pick
Last night's ridiculous Jets-Patriots battle in Foxborough turned out to be everything a football fan could hope for , with the requisite Favreian/Spygate intrigue thrown in for good measure. But even though Favre ended up on the winning end of things and played a mistake-free, efficient game, it wa...
Alright You Lowlifes, The Boy From Eastern Illinois Is Back
Just a handful of moments after announcing that Tony Romo would return to action this week, Jerry Jones puffed himself up and guaranteed that the Cowboys would make the playoffs. I believe the term he used is that they would "absolutely" be there. Also, Jones said that he would welcome back Pacman J...
Taste The Goodness Of Vicktory Dogs Wine
When I think of fine wine, I also think of dogs — who doesn't? Throw in Michael Vick, and you have an amusing little wine with a full-bodied locker room bouquet and just a hint of flea powder. Welcome to Carivintas Winery, a Southern California company which markets Vicktory Dogs Wine; 22 varieties ...