Football Page 1557 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Week 2: Update #2
Detroit 7, Chicago 34. And welcome back to the Detroit Lions. All that Week One optimism looks a little misguided at this point. Not that they're destined to be as bad as the Raiders or anything, but they're still 0-2 and just got their asses beat by Rex Grossman (20-of-27 for 289 yards and 4 TDs)....
Michael Irvin, Koren Robinson, And Ricky Williams Have A Song For You
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NFL Week 2: Update #1
Cleveland 3, Cincinnati 14. Chad Johnson caught a touchdown pass for the Bengals, and followed it up with... the chicken dance. The era of awesome touchdown celebrations may be officially over. When we're doing dances that are designed for white people to do at weddings, I think we're in trouble. I ...
NFL Week 2: Things You'll Want To See
Oakland @ Baltimore. This game should answer some questions on exactly how bad Oakland could be. I really believe that they've got the potential to be one of the all-time legendary disasters in sports history. A key to this, though, is keeping Aaron Brooks healthy. They can't reach the depths they'r...
Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: Irish Schadenfreude
• (11) Michigan 47, (2) Notre Dame 21. I don't think there's anything that the college football watching public enjoys more than seeing Notre Dame get beaten - nay, romped - in a big game. I didn't get to publish even a small fraction of the overjoyed comments that came as a result of Michigan's 4...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
Louisville just went up 24-7 on Miami, Michigan looks to be pretty firmly in control of things, and I'm just going to leave you to enjoy those things... if you're the type that likes to see big-name programs get humiliated. Enjoy the big games tonight, too....
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
• That Brady Quinn is so good-looking that I'll bet even Pam Ward thinks he's hot. - drocksportsguy...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
• Not actually watching any college football at the moment, as I just woke up, but the Pam Ward's short WikiPedia page entry reads "Pam Ward is probably a lesbian." - DriveInHard...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• "There was a sign during Gameday this morning - "Charlie Weis: The Devil Lovechild of Jabba the Hut @ Rosie O'Donnell." - Lingering Bursitis...
Nothing Says "Sloth" Like A Long College Football Saturday
As has been established, tomorrow is a day for much gluttony/sloth/greed/skinny ladies' head in the box: seven pretty outstanding college football games. And no, we're not referring to Syracuse-Illinois. We are actually offended that the game is on television....
Never, Ever Bet On The Texans
In the wake of last week's free-furniture-if-the-Bears-shut-out-the-Packers promotion in Chicago, the folks at Gallery Furniture, the huge Texas furniture place that even hosts a bowl game from time to time, has decided to push all its chips to the middle of the table, 10-gallon hat style....
Taking One ... "Yeoooowwww, Kelly Clarkson!" ... For the Team
What with the price of gas and all, there apparently isn't a lot to do over at the Basney Honda in South Bend, Ind. So co-workers told Jason Gordon that they would chip in and get him two tickets to the Notre Dame-Michigan game, and all Gordon had to do to earn them was get a full body wax. Irish fa...
If They Take Away Reggie Bush's Heisman, Did It Really Happen?
Like a lot of people, we're sure, when we initially saw Yahoo! Sports' report — you know, typing the "!" after "Yahoo" must feel a little silly when you're trying to report a serious story — about Reggie Bush allegedly receiving improper gifts from agents when he was at USC, we thought, "Jeez, they'...
Imagine What They'll Call It When They Actually Use It
Far be it from us to pretend to be experts in branding, but this new marketing gimmick for the Cleveland Browns, obviously a "riff" (and "riff" is being generous) on the Steelers' Terrible Towel, is actually called The Dirty Brown Towel....
OK, We Get Dibs On The Vikings
For those who find the pace of Madden '07 a little too frantic, here's some good — that is to say, fake — news. Introducing Madden Bye-Week '07, in which you control your various NFL players' off-the-field activities during their team's bye week. We're still waiting for our copy, but the "reviewer" ...
Return To Irreverence!
We knew the Oakland Raiders were going to be a source of consistent amusement throughout this season, through ineptitude, disorganization or simple befuddlement, but we didn't quite expect it to happen so soon....
No Better Reason To Get In A Bar Fight Than This One
This pasty fellow, described by Every Day Should Be Saturday as "so aggressively white that bleach is afraid of him," is South Carolina quarterback Blake Mitchell, who was arrested after a bar fight early Wednesday morning....
Unfortunately, It Appears Emmitt's Going To Be On This Show For A While
Last night, Emmitt Smith continued his inevitable decline into post-athlete career depression by "shining" on "Dancing With The Stars," impressing the judges with his ... aw, jeez, we can't even type this without feeling bad about ourselves and everything about sports....
It's Like Tonya Harding, But Less Manly
It must be frustrating to be a backup punter. Most football players don't even consider the starting punter a real part of the team; the backup punter might as well be the waterboy. It must cause all kinds of anger and frustration, but you're a punter, so you can't express it. Lots of repressed rage...
Chad Johnson Is A Chicken Dance Maestro
As many have pointed out before, the vast majority of hardcore NFL fans have never attended an actual game in person. Factors include the rarity of games, the high ticket expense and the fear that someone in a dog mask will steal your wheelchair....