Football Page 1560 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tarvaris Jackson Will Continue Being Molded From The Sidelines
The biggest question mark for the Minnesota Vikings going into this year was if second-year quarterback Tarvaris Jackson had progressed enough to run the offense. The flirtations with Brett Favre not withstanding, Vikings head coach Brad Childress made a valiant effort to put his faith behind his sh...
Raiders DT Tommy Kelly Celebrates Big Win With DUI
At least the Raiders didn't give Kelly a $50.5 million dollar contract with $18.6 million in guarantees last offseason. That would have been the largest contract in the history of the NFL for a defensive tackle. A defensive tackle who was coming off ACL surgery, only played in 7 games, recorded jus...
Clinton Portis and Brian Mitchell Radio Interview Goes Entertainingly Off The Rails
Yesterday, Clinton Portis went on John Thompson's radio show on WTEM 980 in Washington, D.C. and within minutes he and Thompson's co-host, former Redskin/Eagle Brian Mitchell , were at each others throats. B. Mitch has been critical of Portis in the past, which prompted the feud, and the DC Sports ...
Jerry Jones Would Like To Take This Opportunity To Let Everyone Know That Ed Hochuli Has Sucked For A While
It's been a rough week for referee Ed Hochuli as The Worst Officiating Call In The History Of The NFL continues to get picked apart by football pundits, fans, and coaches. As pointed out yesterday, Hochuli has been busy apologizing to everyone for his botched whistle-blow in the Chargers/Broncos gam...
All Of The Lateral Flys In The World Could Not Make Ed Hochuli Feel Better Right Now
After Sunday's spastic whistle-blowing by big-armed referee Ed Hochuli cost the San Diego Chargers a victory in their shootout against Denver, the NFL has acted swiftly and strongly, downgrading the 19-year veteran for his error, which could impact his playoff game status and possibly his career. Th...
Florida's Percy Harvin Is Healthy...Hasn't Felt This Good Since 10th Grade
I'm ashamed to admit I've been following the tribulations of Percy Harvin and his heel way too closely. Hoping against hope that he'd be too dinged up early in the season to play against my Vols. Up until recently the enigmatic health situation of Harvin seemed promising, maybe he would be slowed a...
David Foster Wallace, The St. Louis Rams And You
Before we get started, I'd like to say something about David Foster Wallace. David Foster Wallace, Illinois' own, is the best writer I've ever read who I found completely unreadable. I don't mean his non-fiction stuff that had the benefit of editors who, strangely, had a desire for people who read ...
DeSean Jackson's End Zone Brainfartery Will Be Overlooked — For Now
Yes, last night was disappointing in many ways, but it has not completely killed my faith: I still like my team. If anything, last night's Eagles/Cowboys game proved that Donovan McNabb is fully-recovered and that DeSean Jackson, Philadelphia's own Barack Obama, is still on pace to be the greatest E...
Who's Sorry Now? Chris Cooley Edition
The nation is still buzzing over Wienergate; when Redskins tight end Chris Cooley posted a naked photo of himself — including shlong — on his personal blog over the weekend. This has caused much consternation at Clan Cooley; the photo was removed late Sunday, and now Chris has issued a mea culpa. It...
Another Unfortunate High Five-Related Injury
Being a white guy isn't easy, my friends. We can't dance, there's nothing but Coldplay on our iPods, and when we try to high-five during sporting events, there are often tragic results. Witness these Cowboy fans on Monday night, trying to celebrate following a routine pass completion in the second q...
Jay Cutler, Diabetic, Shills for McDonald's
The commercial was filmed in June of 2008 and has recently started airing on Denver television. This means the commercial was filmed after Cutler realized he had diabetes. The commercial combines the hilarity of the Coors Light press conference commercials (read:none) but adds an annoying little ki...
Bob Griese Sets A New Standard for Announcing Objectivity By Waving Purdue Flag During "Shout"
ESPN/ABC assigned Bob Griese, a Purdue alum, to call the Purdue-Oregon game this weekend. On Friday we posted that Erin Andrews felt the need to defend her objectivity after the Florida-Miami game. Well, it should be interesting to see what the response is from Bob Griese after he took a Purdue fla...
Kiffin And His 'Hang In There' Cat Poster Could Be Gone By Tonight
This is kind of a shocker even for Al Davis: Despite a solid win over Kansas City on Sunday, Lane Kiffin is reportedly as good as gone as head coach of the Raiders, perhaps as early as this week. The Chronicle's Nancy Gay says that it's going to be Rob Ryan taking over. And once again we're reminded...
For These Prices I Could Send My Car To Summer Camp. Am I Right, Folks?
So why is price gouging illegal in hurricane-ravaged areas of Texas and Louisiana, but scenes such as this on Saturday at the LA Coliseum go virtually unnoticed? To recap, there were some Ohio State fans who paid $500 apiece for tickets to the USC game (those were the cheap ones), then had to break ...
When The Whistle Blows
Pity the poor secretary who trudges in to work this morning at the law offices of Jones, Skelton & Hochuli, P.L.C. in Phoenix. Being crushed by an avalanche of fax paper when you open the door is no way to die. Chargers fans spent Sunday evening posting Ed Houchli's work email and phone number all a...
Creative Ways to Cheat Your Way to Success Back at the Office
Over the weekend, we've been presented with numerous ways to succeed by circumventing unfair and inappropriate "rules" meant to hurt you and not others by not giving you everything you want immediately. As we close out this weekend, let us give you the tools used by sports teams across the globe so ...
The Sun Sets on Another NFL Sunday
Bill Parcells must be wondering what kind of store you have to shop at to come home with groceries like Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. All he knows right now is that his roster of players from Publix just aren't going to get the job done. The Arizona pair racked up 293 receiving yards on 12 ca...
Surprise, Surprise: Terrell Owens is Once Again Acting Childish
The 2004 season in which Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens teamed up to lead the Philadelphia Eagles to their first Super Bowl since 1980 was one of the greatest seasons my maligned city has seen in decades. Terrell Owns was a huge part of that and was beloved for it … before his real lunacy started ...
On to the Late Games
But first...how 'bout them Redskins! Getting back to business, we're blessed with five late games, and a couple of them don't even suck. Then there are the ones that feature the Dolphins, the Falcons, and the Niners. Regardless I'm giving them all the equal treatment (except for the Dolphins, becaus...
NFL Update: Week 2 Early Games Final
• Bears 17, Panthers 20- sigh. Jonathan Stewart scored his second TD with under four minutes left to secure the win. Oh, and a stalled Bears drive failed to bring them back. • Bills 20, Jaguars 16 - Trent Edwards (20-25, 239 yds.) charged back with 10 points in the fourth to steal the win. • Giants ...