Football Page 1605 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jason Witten's Forging Momma
So, just to bring you back up to speed, in the world of outstanding sports moms, we have:...

Softball Players Are No Good At Word Games
Burnt Orange Nation ran an interview with former Texas softball pitcher Cat Osterman on Monday, at the end of which Osterman was asked to play a little word association (a recurring BON interview theme). While obviously a talented hurler, Osterman sadly bobbled this assignment. Instead of shooting b...

The Nationwide Punter Menace Tredges On
Remember Mitch Cozad? He's the Northern Colorado backup punter who, last September, allegedly stabbed the starting punter to take his starting spot. It was more proof, once again, that you can never, ever trust a goddamned punter....

Les Miles Needs To Work On His Sarcastic Rants
If you're going to start ripping people, Les Miles, go all the way. That way Every Day Should Be Saturday wouldn't have to step in and pick up the slack with some writer's embellishment, turning what was some mildly interesting radio content into something truly memorable. The LSU football coach was...

Tank Johnson Is Not Drunk, But Drunk Enough
So, with word coming out that beleaguered Chicago Bear Tank Johnson actually being under the legal limit in his DUI arrest a couple of weeks ago — the one that ultimately forced his release from the Bears — the guy should be out of the woods and all set and good again, right?...

The NFL Wants You To Watch Less Than A Minute Of Their Players
In a move designed to protect the Internet operations of its 32 teams, the pro football league has told news organizations that it will no longer permit them to carry unlimited online video clips of players, coaches or other officials, including video that the news organizations gather themselves on...

He Wasn't A Paid Drug Dealer; He Was Just Volunteering
We like Florida head coach Urban Meyer for many reasons, not least of which is the fact that his first name describes a type of city. (We hope to someday name our child "Rural Juror Leitch.") But the reason we really love him is that EDSBS figures he believes if you kick a player off your team for s...

Happy Birthday To The Madmen At KSK
This graphic, whipped up by the great twoeightnine at With Leather, signifies a historic anniversary today: The folks at Kissing Suzy Kolber are celebrating their one-year birthday today. It's rather amazing to think it has just been a year since they spawned; they legitimately made last year's most...

Chip And Dale Don't Like Your Looks And Would Prefer That You Leave
Once the vibrant and thriving center of the city, Downtown Disney has fallen on hard times. Crime is rampant, property values have plummeted and the area is ripe with decay. Witness Minnie Mouse, turning tricks at the seedy Disney Inn. Goofy has been arrested 17 times for aggressive panhandling. And...

The Exact Human Opposite Of Jim Nantz
Ron Jaworski? Please. This is your new MNF foil for Kornheiser....

Cop Attacked, Bitten By Dolphin
I had never heard of Dolphins defensive tackle Fred Evans, but when a man tastes the Taser gun twice, and still manages to bite a cop ... well, that grabs your attention. From The Ledger, in Lakeland, Florida:...

Calvin Johnson Must Be Really, Really Good
...because he has Jon Kitna believing that the Detroit Lions are going to dominate the NFL this year. The same Lions that went 3-13 last year, because of a rookie wide receiver, are going to win 10+ games this year. Mmhmm....

Pacman Jones Murders Pacman Jones' Dreadlocks
It always seems like the hair is the first casualty in the cleansing of one's image. Pacman Jones, seen there to your right, has not only washed the stripper glitter off of his face, but he's shorn his traditional dreadlocks. His agent says he was going for a more clean-cut, less dangerous image ......

In England, Nobody Scalps Tickets
So let's say you're a season ticket holder for the Miami Dolphins. One of your eight games this year is the October 28 game against the New York Giants in London. You think it's unlikely you'll be able to make the trip to London, but that's OK: With StubHub, you can sell that puppy and probably pay ...

Another Reason To Have Him On Your Fantasy Team
The man here is Patriots running back Lawrence Maroney, and Kissing Suzy Kolber has discovered that his Facebook page is not to be underestimated....

Dicky Lyons Is One Dope Dude
Dicky Lyons is a wide receiver for the Kentucky Wildcats, and despite his seemingly less-than-chiseled-athlete physique, he's one of their better players. And he also seems like as amiable a doofus as you could possibly meet....

Police Make It Rain On Pac Man
So much for Pac Man Jones just being an innocent bystander in that strip club shooting ... he's been formally charged with two counts of felony coercion....

Mike And Mike Are Everywhere You Look
All told, we think we gave Mike and Mike too hard of a time on the whole spelling bee thing. They weren't so bad; maybe they toned down the schtick for ABC. Anyway, as part of ESPN's plan to have Mike Greenberg (the gay one) and Mike Golic (the fat one) broadcasting every event that Berman and Tiric...

Ryan Leaf About To Be Immortalized On Digital Film
Six months ago, Football Outsiders told the tale of "Leaf: An Almost True Story," a mock-documentary about Ryan Leaf. Apparently, the movie has progressed a bit since then: It looks like it's going to be "released" in October....