Football Page 1605 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Week Three, Update #3
• There are a couple of ass-poundings going on, both of them, I believe, directly influenced by the Eagles collapse last week. The Giants are experiencing a massive letdown, and the Eagles are pissed off about it. The Giants are down 35-0 to the Seahawks, and the Eagles are molesting the 49ers, 24-3...
NFL Week Three, Update #2
• All but two of the early afternoon games are going down to the wire. The only teams to wrap up victories before the final minutes were the Jets and the Redskins. I'm not going to go so far as to say that a college team could actually compete against the Texans, but I believe Ohio State could score...
NFL Week Three, Update #1
• The Steelers/Bengals game has been an entertaining contest thus far, despite CBS's efforts to make it as lame as possible. There was some pre-game trash talk between Joey Porter and Chad Johnson that appeared to be clearly staged. It took place in a camera-friendly location, and the trash talk was...
Your NFL Games Of The Week
• Cincinnati vs. Pittsburgh. I've been looking forward to this game more than any other this weekend, college or pro. You've got Joey Porter and Chad Johnson talking trash back and forth, with T.J. Houshmandzadeh getting in on it... it's Carson Palmer's revenge game against the team that crippled hi...
Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: You Know Where You Can Plant Your Flag
• Notre Dame 40, Michigan State 37. After the game, Michigan State tailback Javon Ringer said, "Give all the credit to Notre Dame. They stepped up when they had to." Well, that's one way to say it. Maybe Notre Dame stepped up, but they couldn't have done so if Michigan State hadn't laid down. Let's ...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
You know what an older gentleman, sensitive to the slow deterioration of his once-strong body, wants above all else? Wall-to-wall national coverage of his case of the shits. Thanks, ABC. - Tuffy Rhodes...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
• Does anyone else hear "Please like me! I fit in!" over and over again when Linda Cohn does football highlights? - Derek, Pittsburgh...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
The sideline reporter at the Georgia-CU game just said that Ugga, Georgia's mascot, is "built for pleasure, not speed". Yikes. - Hotwingz0...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• I just woke up to find that apparently last night I texted my ex-girlfriend in French... I don't speak French. You think thats a bad omen for the Vols? - Mikel, Lexington, KY...
That, Friends, Is A Lot Of Funk
In a world of uncertainty, the dancing fat man is a distinct pleasure worth cherishing. Do not underestimate the dancing fat Clemson fan: He's, in fact, quite nimble. You might think it cheap and/or easy, but we value the fundamental certainty of gyrating flab, and we think you probably should too....
Once Again, Bobby Knight Helps Us Keep Things In Perspective
Among delighted viewers of Saturday's college football win by Oregon over Oklahoma was one Robert Montgomery Knight, and frankly we're surprised it took him this long to say something about it. In Jan. 2003, the host Sooners beat Knight's Texas Tech, 69-64 in overtime, after two clock controversies ...
Week 3, Previewed The Tecmo Way
When we go through our Friday selection of various weekend previews, we hit the usual suspects (King, Simmons, Zimmerman, O.J.) and then always make sure to drop in on The Ex-Burgher's Tecmo Bowl previews. Essentially, he uses the Tecmo Bowl prototype (with updated rosters!) from the Tecmo Super B...
"Shh ... Don't Tell Him ... Let's Just Watch Him Go"
This, friends, is UNLV coach Mike Sanford. Two weeks ago, his Rebels lost to Iowa State 16-10, on a close call late. UNLV's wide receiver was ruled out of bounds, and Iowa State left the field with the win....
Chad Johnson, Perhaps Unaware Of His Surroundings
So remember that hit Chad Johnson took at the end of the Bengals-Browns game last week? Well, over at The Fanhouse, the omnipotent Mighty MJD found the video of Johnson's postgame "discussion" with reporters. We think maybe he wasn't quite ready for an interview yet....
"Hey, Like, Old Guy ... It's Your Turn"
This is an actual photo, taken last weekend, from the Iowa-Iowa State pregame last Saturday....
Do Not Disrespect Joey Porter's Dogs
Some difficulty for Pittsburgh Steelers unhinged linebacker Joey Porter this morning; apparently two of his dogs — a pit bull and a mastiff — escaped from Porter's residence and killed a miniature horse at a nearby farm. The horse, being miniature, was actually smaller than each of the dogs, so that...
He Actually Will Wear A Leather Helmet
Need to be reminded of just how old you really are? Old Falcons kicker Morten Andersen, considered one of the best kickers of all time, last made a Pro Bowl in 1996. The guy was an All-American kicker for Michigan State in 1981....
The NFL Doesn't Want You To Get Drunk
So the NFL is running a contest called Take A Player To School Day, which encourages kids between the ages of 6 and 12 to apply for a player to accompany them to school....
Hey, Can I Get A Do-Over?
Attention Jeff George: If your son's Pee Wee football league needs referees this weekend, we know some guys who are available. After a wildly entertaining, somewhat comical ending that kind of reminded us of the final scenes in Caddyshack, the Pac-10 wound up suspending the officiating crew that muc...
Look Inside Big Ben. WAY Inside
Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger made his return from an appendectomy — and, ostensibly, from that little head-vs.-pavement business — last night, and it didn't go well, with the Jaguars shutting out Big Ben and the Steelers 9-0 on Monday night. It was the lowest scoring game in Monday Night ...