Football Page 1639 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steelers Choose To Stay The Course
We should be saving this for our Heartfelt Fridays post, but, you know, we couldn't wait. So ... sorry. In the Steelers' press conference on Tuesday, coach Bill Cowher said that he is officially taking the blame for the team's 2-5 start, warning everyone to lay off of quarterback Ben Roethlisberge...
EPSNU "Gay" Announcer Not Happy
Honestly, we were planning on laying off all the gay content for a bit (we can tell how riled up it gets you), but this just came in over the wire:...
It's An Intriguing Night In Prince Country
Kind of a quietly fascinating game tonight on "Monday Night Football:" The Patriots, who keep winning even though no one's particularly impressed by them, travel to face the Vikings, who have attempted to fix their sex boat-related woes by hiring a bald mustached man who appears to have never had se...
We're Freaking McNuts, Man, And We McLove It
You know ... it's possible that Eagles fans are becoming rather upset with their team's play of late....
NFL Week Eight, Update #4
• Colts 34, Broncos 31. If the Colts weren't the class of the AFC before this week, they certainly are now. They went into Mile High against a nearly impenetrable defense, hung 34 points on them, and got the win on the foot of Adam Vinatieri. No one else has come close to being able to do that to De...
NFL Week Eight, Update #3
• San Diego 14, St. Louis 7. Shawne Merriman has two sacks for the Chargers, and has been awfully jubilant about them for a guy with such a large and dark cloud hanging over his head. It would take an even bigger set of balls, though, if he were to mimic jabbing a syringe into his ass after he got a...
NFL Week Eight, Update #2
• Jaguars 13, Eagles 6. Alright, the Eagles officially aren't that good. You may have figured this out before me, but I'm now convinced. They just managed six points in a home game that they pretty much had to win. The Garrard/Leftwich issue was probably not a factor... the Jags won while getting 87...
Perhaps The Receiver Just Didn't Want To Be Gay
This is my new favorite awkward silence of all time. All that's audible is vacant crowd noise, but if you listen hard enough, you can hear the play-by-play guy thinking, "Well, what the hell am I supposed to say now?" and the other guy, ESPNU's Brian Kinchen, thinking, "Uh oh."...
NFL Week Eight, Update #1
• Baltimore 28, New Orleans 7. The Ravens have completely bottled up Dulymus McAllister and Reggie Bush... combined rushing and receiving, Bush and McAllister have combined for a total of 7 yards. The Ravens are doing just about anything they want... save for one long Drew Brees to Joe Horn TD pas...
Week 8 NFL Preview:
Falcons @ Bengals. Chad Johnson—er, excuse me—Ocho Cinco has promised two touchdowns and two endzone dances, and if he doesn't deliver, I'm never going to forgive him. I said last week that the Panthers/Bengals game was probably our last chance this year for a good endzone celebration, but Chad John...
Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: Beavers Contain Trojans
• Oregon State 33, (3) USC 31. I was almost certain that Oregon State would blow it, giving us a chance to replicate one of the all-time great headlines in sports history. But the Beavers held firm and denied USC's attempt to come back from a 30-10 deficit with about 20 minutes to play. Oregon State...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
And Bowling Green is the school that gives Temple its first win of the season. Man, I'd hate to be that one Deadspin commenter with the BG avatar. - Suss...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
This is a fairly safe afternoon to recover from a hangover. All you need is someone to wake you up in time to watch the World's Largest Cocktail...right, we're not calling it that, but either way, get up by the time Florida v. Georgia is on and tie it on all over again. - C...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
I didn't go to sleep tonight playing online poker and am down $350. So I decided to put $350 on Michigan State over Indiana through Bodog. I am not a relaxed camper right now. - Dynamic Hispanic...
Workin' The Merkin
I couldn't wait for the first Hugh Johnson Update to get this up. What you see above, courtesty of Longhorn Nation, is a sign that accuses Lee Corso of wearing a "merkin." A merkin, for the uninitiated, is... well, I'll let Wikipedia explain:...
The Scary Kind Of Skullcap
Not that many days left until Halloween, and in the tradition of the great Randy Moss mask, we happily introduce you to the Chad Johnson Mohawk Head Piece....
Brady Quinn, Friend To The Gays, Or Just Idol?
In the newest issue of Interview magazine, Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn, handsome man of leisure, spreads 'em and smiles big in a big photo feature. Brady looks all playful and chiseled and Notre Dame-y, we guess. You might notice, when you look at the pictures, that Brady is shot rather, oh, ...
Would You Like Claws With That?
Todd Haley is the receivers coach for the Dallas Cowboys, which means, as is, his life is pretty much terrible. He also doesn't have much time to cook, since he apparently only takes his family out for McDonald's. That's bad enough, but even worse when they McSalad has a huge freaking rat in it....
Bored Cadets Remake "Rudy"
From the invaluable and irreplaceable Every Day Should Be Saturday comes this video, made by cadets at the Naval Academy to pump up their team — we guess — for the game against Notre Dame on Saturday. We're really not sure what we can do with this; should we, like, send them a Penthouse or something...