Taking Down The USA, One Touchdown At A Time
Every year, usually more than once a year (whenever there's a major sporting event), some soulless, dumb "research firm" tries to convince us that the office workers of America are somehow skirting their duties serving The Man by paying so much attention to something that might divert them from staring at a computer screen all day under dead lighting. The newest entry is a bunch of dolts called Challenger, Grey & Christmas, which claims "discussion of Super Bowl related items by each individual spanning just 10 minutes a day the week before the Super Bowl is estimated to cost U.S. firms a total of $800 million."
These lame studies have long since been debunked, because they assume that the American worker is a drone who does nothing but work work work all day and never takes so much as half a second to think of anything other than Excel documents. No daydreaming of Scarlett Johansson, no discussions of the unpredictability and general dreariness of local weather conditions, no trips to WebSudoku, no, you know, checking of blogs to add some frivolity to break up an endless march of monotony. In other words: It's OK, America, to think about the Super Bowl when you're at work this week. It doesn't mean you're trying to take the country down, or that you're with Al Qaeda. Promise.
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