Football Page 977 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Would You Describe This Eagles Play Call?
But seriously. In our tips email I see “cocksucking monkey,” “designed handjob,” and “a monkey jerking a giraffe.” How would you describe it? ...
Gronk Goes Steady
Perpetual air-humping machine Rob Gronkowski busted out for three touchdowns in his first game of the season, but that’s old news. There’s a much more important development: The Patriots tight end is legitimately dating someone....
Marcus Mariota Looked Fantastic
The second-worst team in football last season was blessed to open their campaign against the worst team in football. Both of them had shiny new quarterbacks, and are a year removed from flimsy, bottom-three defenses. That’s where the similarities stopped. Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota stomped on...
Florida Coach Jim McElwain Apologizes For Blowing Up At A Player
Jim McElwain says he regrets tearing into junior RB Kelvin Taylor on the sideline after Taylor drew a penalty for a “throat slash” touchdown celebration gesture late in Florida’s 31-24 win over East Carolina on Saturday, saying he’s already heard from his 94-year-old mother that it wasn’t right....
The Giants' Collapse Was Even Dumber Than It Looked (And It Already Looked Pretty Dumb)
It was one thing when it appeared that the Giants’ merely brainfarted 40 extra seconds to the Cowboys for a game-winning drive that needed 33 of them. Now as players discuss the calls in the huddle and from the sideline, it’s so, so much worse: the Giants a) did not realize how many timeouts the Cow...
Kam Chancellor's Holdout Couldn't Be Going Any Better
Kam Chancellor is still negotiating with the Seahawks for a new contract, and as his holdout bled into Week 1 of the regular season, undrafted sophomore Dion Bailey took his place at strong safety Sunday against the Rams. It was clear that Chancellor’s starting job will be waiting for him when he co...
Pacman Jones Won't Be Suspended For Slamming Amari Cooper's Head Into His Own Helmet
Kind of surprisingly, multiple reports state that Bengals corner Adam “Pacman” Jones will be fined but not suspended for ripping off Raiders WR Amari Cooper’s helmet and bashing the back of his head against it....
Washington Would Really Like You To Know About All Of Its Wonderful Navajo Art
This comes to us from a fan who watched Sunday’s Miami-Washington game from a suite inside Washington’s stadium. He tells us that the suites are adorned with various pieces of art, and that the team is very eager to let people know exactly who made the art....
Cops: Man Kills Himself At Buffalo Bills Tailgate
On Saturday night, an RV lot near the Buffalo Bills’ stadium was packed full of tailgating fans preparing for the team’s first game of the season. Around 10:20 p.m., one of those fans shot and killed himself, according to police....
Dez Bryant Got Hurt, Stayed Hyped
One of the worst things about Week 1 is the inevitable rash of injuries that knocks a half-dozen or so stars out for a good portion of the season. Dez Bryant’s injury wasn’t the most serious of the day, but he’ll need surgery on his broken foot and will miss the next four to six weeks. Don’t worry a...
The Giants' Loss Was Inexplicable
This wasn’t one of those bad, game-killing decisions that requires hindsight to identify as a mistake. It’s no less baffling the morning after as it was the moment Eli Manning floated the ball out of the end zone to stop the clock and gave the Cowboys a full minute-and-a-half to complete their comeb...
The NFL's New Extra Point Rule Is Great
For all the worried exegesis of the NFL’s corn-fed rulebook this offseason, not much of it was aimed at football’s best rule change in years: the new extra point. ...
Pacman Jones Rips Amari Cooper's Helmet Off, Slams His Head Into It
Welcome to the NFL rook! Jones is going to have to find something to do next weekend. Here are some ideas, man....
Seahawks Choose To Run This Time With Game On The Line, Still Lose
The Seahawks lost a wild one in overtime in St. Louis today. Nick Foles took the field for the first time as a Ram and he was very solid with 297 yards and touchdowns via air and ground, but the truly remarkable part of the game was the *fart noise* that was the Seahawks’ overtime effort. ...
Fight Breaks Out At DIII Football Game (CORRECTION)
The Washington & Jefferson Presidents beat the Westminster Titans 35-31 last night, but only after Number 10 here took to walloping a Presidents player after a kickoff. W&J is ranked #14 in Division III. To get an idea of the level of football we’re talking about here, their next opponent is Carnegi...
Luke Kuechly Leaves Game With Scary Head Injury
Luke Kuechly left today’s game against the Jaguars with what looks like a head injury. Late in the second quarter, Kuechly tackled T.J. Yeldon with his head and immediately went into a daze and fell over. The trainer then fell down and knocked his helmet off, which would be funny were it not involvi...
Travis Kelce Knows How To Celebrate A Touchdown
The Chiefs are out here taking it to the Texans. Brian Hoyer tossed an interception to rookie Marcus Peters on his first throw as a Texan, and Alex Smith already has already thrown two touchdowns to Travis Kelce. ...
It's Only Going To Get Worse: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
For those of you who are so inclined, this will be a fine time to stop watching the NFL. A great time, in fact. Maybe even the perfect time....
Two Utah Football Players Suffer Gunshot Wounds At Party
Two Utah football players are in stable condition following gunshot wounds suffered late Saturday night. The players are named as sophomore TE Lo Falemaka and freshman RB Marcel Brooks-Brown. ...
Report: Jason Pierre-Paul Is Missing More Fingers, Could Miss Season
According to a report from ESPN’s Dan Graziano, the New York Giants got a chance to examine Jason Pierre-Paul’s fireworks-torn hand for themselves and are internally worried that the injury is worse than initially thought and could keep him out for the season. This is because, uh, well, the team did...