NFL Page 1005 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

New York Jets Draft A Quarterback, Media Salivates
The New York Jets drafted Geno Smith with the 39th pick Friday night and that sound you heard was the sharpening of knives as media types prepare to dine on what remains of Mark Sanchez. Then they'll turn to Geno Smith....

Source Tells ESPN That Cris Carter's Son Will Sign With The Vikings
An anonymous source has informed Adam Schefter that Duron Carter, son of Hall of Famer Cris Carter, will sign with the Minnesota Vikings. ...

Rob Gronkowski Drinking Bud Light Platinum?
Of course Rob Gronkowski drinking Bud Light Platinum. ...

Steve Gleason Announced The Saints' Third-Round Pick
If you are somehow unfamiliar with Steve Gleason's story, go here and read everything. Fresh off his trip with Scott Fujita to Machu Picchu, the former New Orleans safety appeared in New York tonight to announce the Saints' third-round pick of Terron Armstead. In a draft full of trumped-up drama, t...

Manti Te'o Is Now A San Diego Charger
Well, it took a day longer than expected, but former Notre Dame inside linebacker Manti Te'o, whom we've enjoyed following over the past three months and change, has finally found himself an NFL home. He went with pick No. 38 to the San Diego Chargers, a real NFL team, albeit one with a doctor who s...

Who Hugged The NFL Commissioner Longest At Last Night's Draft?
We don't know if, as a child, Roger Goodell dreamed of one day being best known for embracing enormous men and then, later, taking money from them. The Draft Day Hug Era is at its peak, and like last year, we decided to find out who hugged the NFL commissioner longest....

A Frumpily Attired Barry Sanders Demands You Buy His Video Game
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

At The NFL Draft, The Bills Take A Leap And Geno Smith Goes Home
It might've been the heaviest NFL draft ever. That's about the only superlative you can slap on last night....

Ziggy Ansah Wore Broken 3D Glasses To The NFL Draft
Because that's normal....


Scouting Report: Roger Goodell
With the NFL draft now upon us, we feel it's only appropriate to present this scouting report on commissioner Roger Goodell. What follows are the assessments of various NFL players, plus one television executive, and one online dictionary. ...

The Chargers' Doctor Is A Drunk Quack. Why Haven't They Fired Him?
The California Medical Board believes that David Chao should lose his medical license. Nearly two dozen former patients who have sued him since 1998—alleging in all the medical superfecta of malpractice, personal injury, negligence, and fraud—would agree. Dissenting: the NFL and the San Diego Charge...

Cop Posing As Hooker Tells Browns LB Anal Sex Would Be An Extra $20
Journeyman linebacker Quentin Groves only signed with the Browns—his fourth team in six NFL seasons—last month. Welcome to Cleveland!...

Brad Johnson Isn't Doing So Hot These Days
Broken knees, broken ankles, cracked vertebrae, nerve damage, the works. Brad Johnson is proof-positive you don't need brain trauma to suffer from your NFL career for the rest of your life....

<em>Game Of Thrones</em> Author Is So Mad That The Jets Traded Darrelle Revis
George R.R. Martin, author of the popular fantasy series-turned-HBO-boob-and-dragon-extravaganza Game of Thrones, is a big fan of the New York Jets. Like many Jets fans, he is not happy that his team just traded all-pro cornerback Darrelle Revis to the Buccaneers, and so he took to his blog to vent....

Jeremy Shockey Wants To Sex You And Then Die
Somebody got laid last night....



