NFL Page 1207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jerry Jones Clarifies His "Social Moment," Explains That Bill Parcells Is, In Fact, Worth A Shit
Jerry Jones took the opportunity at a diabetes fundraiser yesterday to explain away his sodden musings on Bill Parcells, and somehow he came away sounding a lot sillier than he did last week during cocktail hour at Ocean Prime....
The Roethlisberger Documents: "His Penis Was Already Out Of His Pants"
Now we know exactly what Roethlisberger was accused of doing that night: straight up, unprotected sex. Let's dig right in to the sordid details, shall we?...
Donovan McNabb's Legacy Haunts Philly In Guise Of Bank Robber
Police are on the lookout for this man, suspected of committing a major jersey foul. Also, robbing a bank. Rush Limbaugh doesn't know how to feel just now. [Inquirer]...
Big Ben Acted Like A Dog And Vice Versa
A police dog donated by Ben Roethlisberger has been suspended for an unwanted assault on an underage girl while kicking back after work. But where would the dog learn such behavior?...
Last Night's Winner: Steeler Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the good of people of Pittsburgh, who don't stand for miscreants, rabble rousers, or hippies. Plus, their heroes very rarely get charged with crimes....
Confirmed: Terrence Austin May Or May Not Be An NFL Draft Prospect
I bet I know what you're thinking right now. What NFL team will draft UCLA's 2nd all-time yardage leader, Terrence Austin? I was right, wasn't I? Thanks to this bizarre, sort-of-informative press release I cannot now give you the answer!...
Jeremy Shockey Is Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places
I.e., on Facebook and Twitter. Shockey is holding a contest for women (he emphasizes the "female" part) to submit a video explaining why he should take them out on a date. This won't end well. [via Chicks In The Huddle]...
Implosion Destructo-Porn: Texas Stadium Edition
Preceded by fireworks (and onlookers paying an admission fee), the 39-year-old Texas Stadium was reduced to rubble this morning. Jerry Jones is a secular Shiva: destroying, in order to re-create....
Santonio Holmes Probably Going To Sit A Few Out
Santonio Holmes is facing a suspension for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy. As the exact reason for the suspension is not yet known, wildly unfounded speculation is welcome below. [PFT]...
Drew Brees Plays Dress-Up With the US Marine Corps
Drew Brees visited Marines in Djibouti on a recent USO tour and got to play with their toys. He's a sharpshooter, etc. [New Orleans Times-Picayune]...
Jets' Courtship Of Jason Taylor Is Pissing Everyone Off
Taylor's in town to meet with Rex Ryan and company. Dolphins fans are apoplectic. Jets fans are inconsolable. This is pretty much a win-win situation for everyone....
Old Man Favre Becomes A Grandpa
Favre's daughter Brittany gave birth to Parker Brett, who won't make a decision on whether or not to return to the womb until August. [Star Trib]...
If There's A Gremlin On The Wing, Shaun Rogers Is Your Man
That gun in Rogers's carry-on luggage? It was already cocked, with a full magazine and a bullet in the chamber. Somebody's seen Passenger 57 too many times. [Plain Dealer]...
BREAKING: Top NFL Draft Picks Make Too Much Money
"Although the value of players declines throughout the draft, quality declines more slowly than compensation ... the first pick in the draft is, on average, the least valuable in the entire first round." [NY Times, via NPR]...
Donovan McNabb Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Redskins quarterback (wow) Donovan McNabb, who stole a busy weekend show when he suddenly turned the tables on Philadelphia and became Bizarro Brett Favre....
Redskins Have The Strangest Backfield Ever
Washington signs Willie Parker, planning to run the exclusive three-RB formation, in which he, Portis and Johnson line up, only to watch Jason Campbell doink the ball into the turf four yards from the line of scrimmage. [AP]...
Shaun Rogers Almost Brings Loaded Gun Onto An Airplane
The Cleveland tackle was arrested at Hopkins International Airport today after he "forgot" that he had a loaded gun in his bag. Even worse, his shampoo bottle was well over four ounces. [Plain-Dealer/WOIO]...
Mike Vick And Dogfighting's Rise In Philly
Dogfighting cases are way up in Philadelphia since Michael Vick signed with the Eagles. Is it a citywide crackdown, or did Vick bring a terrible fad north with him?...
More On The Santonio Holmes' Lawsuit: Lies, Damned Lies and Face Rubs
According to several conflicting reports about the incident that led to a lawsuit against Santonio Holmes, the Steeler won't face criminal charges, but only because he intimidated the victim by letting her rub his face?...
Santonio Holmes Shows Steeler Solidarity, Gets Sued By Woman He Met In Nightclub
A woman in Florida has filed a civil suit against Holmes after an alleged nightclub incident, in which she claims he hit her in the eye with his....oh, thank goodness it was just a glass. [Courthouse News/ESPN]...