NFL Page 1209 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Cooley Opens Up About Jim Zorn And Other Things
"He does not like short shorts; I was directly made aware of that. But it's not like he's a jerk about it. He'll just talk to you." [Washingtonian]...

Plaxico Burress Heading To Jail
In a surprise twist to an otherwise boring legal hearing, Plaxico Burress plead guilty to attempted criminal possession of a weapon and has accepted a two-year prison term, plus two more years of "supervised release."...

Insensitive NFL Sells Brett Favre Dog Jerseys!
OMG, you guys! Can you believe the Minnesota Vikings are such cold heartless bastards that they would profit off the pain of animals by selling personalized dog jerseys! It's almost like they don't care how ridiculous your pets look!...

Put Your Hand Up If You <em>Don't</em> Own The Dolphins
Not so fast, Williams sisters. Venus and Serena join Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez as minority owners in Miami. "Minority" meaning as opposed to majority owners, not as opposed to white people. [AP]...

Don't Give Out Second Chances Unless You Brought Enough For Everybody
Of all the people to whine about the Michael Vick signing, the most unlikely is Dan Leone, the former game-day employee who was fired after venting his frustations with the team on his Facebook page. Yet here we are....

Ben Roethlisberger's Lawyers Stay On The Offensive
Big Ben's legal team released a series of emails and instant messages sent by his accuser that they say "prove" he did not rape that woman, Andrea McNulty. If IM messages are now irrefutable evidence, then may I suggest this....

Nick Schuyler Explains What Went Wrong
The lone survivor of the boating accident that took the lives of three football players gave his first news interview since being rescued from the waters of the Gulf of Mexico in March....

This Way To The Pajama Party Of The Dead
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Packer Backers No Longer Taking This So Well
Maybe Dash gave you the impression that all Packer fans are being their typical polite Midwestern selves with this whole Favre business. He failed to go where even the most reserved Wisconsinite transforms into a slobbering, bloodthirsty, illiterate neanderthal: Craigslist....

Words That Cris Carter Shouldn't Use During Live Television
me·shug·ge·neh (m-shg-n) or me·shug·ge·ner (-nr) adj. Crazy; senseless.n. One who is crazy. [ESPN/YouTube]...

Antrel Rolle Blames Fumble On His Silky Smooth Arms
The hellish, back-breaking death march of professional football has claimed many victims, but perhaps none more tragically than Cardinals safety Antrel Rolle, who dropped a crucial preseason punt because his arms were over-moisturized. The horror.......

Packer Fans Are A Bubbling Volcano Of Rage
Early reaction from Green Bay: "It just bugs me that he changes his mind." "It's up to him, I guess." "It would make for a fun season." Whoa, whoa. Come back from the ledge, guys! It's only football! [Press-Gazette, Pic]...

Tom Cable Denies Breaking His Assistant's Jaw, Players Rejoice Anyway
Tom Cable says no punches were thrown, but given the reaction to the non-incident by some Raiders, that seems a little suspicious. [ESPN/PFT]...

Raiders Already In Mid-Season Form
Word out of the group home known as Raiders training camp is that first-year head coach Tom Cable recently punched an assistant coach, fracturing his jaw and putting Oakland at least a month ahead of schedule for its annual meltdown....

Braylon Edwards Learns About The Dark Side Of Twitter
Sure, social media brings you closer to the fans ... but that just makes it easier for them to tell you that you suck at your job. [Waiting For Next Year]...

Cruel, Inhumane Sport Continues To Demand Penance From Cruel, Inhumane Dogfighter
Michael Vick spoke with the creases of James Brown's forehead yesterday. Again we were treated to the spectacle of a man who has profited off a brutal, inhumane sport nonetheless claiming the moral high ground. I refer to James Brown....

Soon We Will Know What Every Man, Woman and Child On Earth Thinks About Michael Vick
Your surest sign that the Vick signing is the perfect shitstorm of media in the perfect town for a media shitstorm? Everyone needed to know what Chase Utley's wife had to say about it....

Saints Fans Just Up And Forget How This Whole Ticket Thing Works Again
Can we go back to making fun of New Orleans fans again? Because I'd really like to, since thousands of them were turned away from the Saints' preseason opener after tearing the bar codes off their tickets....

Meaningless Struggle: The Preseason Opener
Why do you watch preseason football? To prepare for hosting duties, I sat down last night to watch three of my least favorite things: 1. the Baltimore Ravens, 2. the Washington team, 3. an exhibition game....