NFL Page 1239 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Week 11: What You Need To Know
Denver (5-4) at Atlanta (6-3). I wonder if Roger Goodell is still upset about Matt Ryan's 6-year, 72-million-dollar contract that the rookie from Boston College signed after being drafted third overall last April. Ryan has to be the frontrunner for Rookie of the Year honors, assuming the reins of an...
The Promising Backups That Paved the Way for Matt Cassel's Padded Bank Account
Continuing with our economic theme today, the market outlook seems awfully bullish for New England Patriots backup turned starter Matt Cassel. After his big time coming out party on Thursday night, in which Bill Simmons drunkenly compared him to John Elway, Cassel looks to have set himself up for qu...
The Packers Are One Step Closer to that Second Round Draft Pick
Last night's ridiculous Jets-Patriots battle in Foxborough turned out to be everything a football fan could hope for , with the requisite Favreian/Spygate intrigue thrown in for good measure. But even though Favre ended up on the winning end of things and played a mistake-free, efficient game, it wa...
Alright You Lowlifes, The Boy From Eastern Illinois Is Back
Just a handful of moments after announcing that Tony Romo would return to action this week, Jerry Jones puffed himself up and guaranteed that the Cowboys would make the playoffs. I believe the term he used is that they would "absolutely" be there. Also, Jones said that he would welcome back Pacman J...
Taste The Goodness Of Vicktory Dogs Wine
When I think of fine wine, I also think of dogs — who doesn't? Throw in Michael Vick, and you have an amusing little wine with a full-bodied locker room bouquet and just a hint of flea powder. Welcome to Carivintas Winery, a Southern California company which markets Vicktory Dogs Wine; 22 varieties ...
Welcome To The House Of Chads
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject : Morning crap Why do I get the feeling that this isn't the only room in Chad Johnson's home that is full of giant portraits of himself? In a move usually reserved for Latin American dictators or...
Ricky Williams Refuses to Hide from The Woman Trapped Inside Him
In the December issue of Playboy magazine, our buddy Pat Jordan penned an enormous profile on the ganja-toking, yoga-loving problem child, as he attempts to rejuvenate his NFL career with the Miami Dolphins. In the piece, we learn about his many quirks, his relationship with the mother of his two ch...
Kerry "the Crooning Cannon" Collins Is a Country Music Songwriter
Lost in the bedlam that has overtaken my hometown over the Titans 9-0 start and Kerry Collins becoming an MVP candidate is this fact: Kerry Collins has written a country song. Which is entertaining on several levels, but not nearly as entertaining as the title: "It's Not Hard to Be Happy When I'm L...
Terrell Owens, Comedian
I did not see last night's "Late Show with David Letterman" (so late!) so I missed this appearance by everyone's favorite vaudeville joke-maker and occasional wide receiver Terrell Owens. We also lost our copy of "Little T Learns To Share," but we think this Top Ten list sends pretty much the same m...
Understanding The NFL Fine System (Hint: You Can't)
Last week, New York Giants defensive end Justin Tuck was fined $7,500 for a hit that pretty much everyone on the planet—except for the referee who a threw a flag at him—agreed was a textbook tackle. The commissioner's office felt this was a perfectly reasonable response as part of its effort to prot...
There Are More Favres Around Than You Think, America
Yes, Dylan Favre here, a junior at St. Stanislaus High in Mississippi, is related to Brett Favre. He's a nephew, and evidently pretty good, for his size. Favre the Lesser set the state's single-season record for TD passes at 43 last week in his team's regular-season finale, throwing for five scores ...
The Patriots Public Relations Department Has Had a Busy Week
Poor Stacey James. Fresh off of the Caitlin Davis fiasco from last week, the Patriots executive director of PR has found himself answering more uncomfortable questions about persons loosely affiliated with the team. This week, it's Marblehead High School Coach, Doug Chernovetz (pictured), who was aw...
Barack Obama Will Not Take Away Your Ties Or Your Hair
I don't remember where I saw it, but about a year-and-a-half ago, in one of those "Hey, there's a cool black guy running for President!" stories, the writer posited that Barack Obama, if he were to somehow win (crazy!), would have something immediately in common with John F. Kennedy: He could destro...
Ashley Stewart Sues Larry Johnson, Poses In Wetlands Area
As if Larry Johnson didn't have enough problems — he's returning to active duty this Sunday for the tragic factory fire that is the Kansas City Chiefs — now he's being sued. Johnson allegedly spit on this woman, Ashley Stewart, during an altercation in a Kansas City nightclub last month, so she's ta...
Time To Party With The 49ers And Cardinals
Only a couple of hours or so until Leitch's Arizona Buzzsaw square off against my San Francisco Forty-Niners, and the big question remains: Who will be the first tonight to remove his pants inappropriately, Matt Leinart or Mike Singletary? Judging from the photo, Matt gets the presumptive nod, espec...
Ha! I Can Never Be Tackl ... Ohhh, Mommy!
This youngster here is obviously a fan of the classic, straight-ahead running style of now-retired Dolphins running back Larry Csonka. Ouch. I should have listened to mom when she suggested beginning golf. The question is, which hit was bigger: This one, or the one levied by the Eagles' Chris Goc...
Suddenly, Tyler Thigpen Is So Much More Than Just a Skeleton-Molesting Nobody
The Kansas City Chiefs are mired in a classic rebuilding season but the last three weeks the team has shown remarkable improvement on offense, most notably third-string quarterback Tyler Thigpen. The former Coastal Carolina quarterback has responded with some eye-opening output in his last three gam...
Your Last NFL Update: The Autumn Wind Is Named Tuiasosopo
Carolina 14, Oakland 6, 4th Quarter. Jake Delhomme's four picks have kept this a one-score game. But the Raiders haven't been able to punch it in and have settled for a couple Janikowski field goals. DeAngelo Williams has 105 yards rushing, including a 69-yard touchdown run. Andrew Walter rolled his...
Feet Shouldn't Be Pointing That Way
Thanks to PFT who finally found an embeddable video of the gruesome leg injury suffered by the Vikes' Charles Gordon. If you've eaten within the last hour, you may want to pass on this for now. There's no update on Gordon's status, but one could make the assumption after viewing that his season — at...
NFL Update 4: Your 4 PM Updates And 1 PM Finals
Pittsburgh 14, Indianapolis 7. The Steeler defense has been fucking with Peyton Manning's world in a most beautiful way. Their coverage and pressure have been sublime, and Reggie Wayne just came up limping after making a first down catch. Aside from a missed tackle that led to a long Reggie Wayne TD...