NFL Page 1265 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ashley Stewart Sues Larry Johnson, Poses In Wetlands Area
As if Larry Johnson didn't have enough problems — he's returning to active duty this Sunday for the tragic factory fire that is the Kansas City Chiefs — now he's being sued. Johnson allegedly spit on this woman, Ashley Stewart, during an altercation in a Kansas City nightclub last month, so she's ta...
Time To Party With The 49ers And Cardinals
Only a couple of hours or so until Leitch's Arizona Buzzsaw square off against my San Francisco Forty-Niners, and the big question remains: Who will be the first tonight to remove his pants inappropriately, Matt Leinart or Mike Singletary? Judging from the photo, Matt gets the presumptive nod, espec...
Ha! I Can Never Be Tackl ... Ohhh, Mommy!
This youngster here is obviously a fan of the classic, straight-ahead running style of now-retired Dolphins running back Larry Csonka. Ouch. I should have listened to mom when she suggested beginning golf. The question is, which hit was bigger: This one, or the one levied by the Eagles' Chris Goc...
Suddenly, Tyler Thigpen Is So Much More Than Just a Skeleton-Molesting Nobody
The Kansas City Chiefs are mired in a classic rebuilding season but the last three weeks the team has shown remarkable improvement on offense, most notably third-string quarterback Tyler Thigpen. The former Coastal Carolina quarterback has responded with some eye-opening output in his last three gam...
Your Last NFL Update: The Autumn Wind Is Named Tuiasosopo
Carolina 14, Oakland 6, 4th Quarter. Jake Delhomme's four picks have kept this a one-score game. But the Raiders haven't been able to punch it in and have settled for a couple Janikowski field goals. DeAngelo Williams has 105 yards rushing, including a 69-yard touchdown run. Andrew Walter rolled his...
Feet Shouldn't Be Pointing That Way
Thanks to PFT who finally found an embeddable video of the gruesome leg injury suffered by the Vikes' Charles Gordon. If you've eaten within the last hour, you may want to pass on this for now. There's no update on Gordon's status, but one could make the assumption after viewing that his season — at...
NFL Update 4: Your 4 PM Updates And 1 PM Finals
Pittsburgh 14, Indianapolis 7. The Steeler defense has been fucking with Peyton Manning's world in a most beautiful way. Their coverage and pressure have been sublime, and Reggie Wayne just came up limping after making a first down catch. Aside from a missed tackle that led to a long Reggie Wayne TD...
NFL Update 3: Let's Hear It For Relocated Ligaments!
The one thing I don't understand about the NFL's weekly schedule: Why have 42 games at 1 o'clock and then just three games at 4 o'clock? Are the late games there purely for adding more hours of football to the day? The matchups are typically better (though probably not this week), which would entice...
NFL Update 2: It's A Brett Favre Nation
New York Jets 40, St. Louis 3, 3rd Q. This game is pretty much over. The wisdom of Pro Football Prospectus tells us that kicking the shit out of crappy teams can be a better indicator of talent than winning close games against good teams. That's good news for the Jets, and this game can also serve ...
NFL Update 1: Cassel Smash!
New England 10, Buffalo 3, 2nd Q. Matt Cassel ran for a TD and they're driving down the field to get another score as the half winds down. The Pats' leading rusher is BenJarvus Green-Ellis, and yes, that's the name of only one person. Baltimore 7, Houston 3, 2nd Q. Sage Rosenfels has already thrown ...
Freddie Mitchell Wants To Put His Meat In Your Mouth
We have a Freddie Mitchell sighting: the former Eagles wideout is now the new owner of Brothers ' Bar-B-Q in Lakeland, Florida. No word on whether he plans to have a replica wrestling championship belt over the facade of the building. The former first-round pick hasn't played since the Eagles lost t...
NFL WEEK 10, Scratches, Coverages, Storylines For Your 1 PM Games
Jacksonville (3-5) at Detroit (0-8), 1 pm. Daunte Culpepper will be getting the start at Ford Field today, less than his week after signing with the Lions as an insurance policy for Dan Orlovsky's thumb injury. That policy is already being cashed in, and this time we can't blame Matt Millen. The big...
Install Texas Stadium End Zone in Your Back Yard (Cheerleaders Included)
In a blatant effort to rearm the Salvation Army in order to fight street to street in the urban centers and rural battlegrounds of America, Jerry Jones and a Coalition of the Willing to Appear Charitable in a Very Public Fashion have offered a unique combination of the gauche and the gaucho to the w...
Justin Tuck Has One Less Check To Write
If you thought Justin Tuck got screwed out of $7,500 earlier this week, you weren't the only one. The indefatigable Michael David Smith (via The Star-Ledger) is reporting on PFT that that bullshit fine levied on Tuck for his hit on Brooks Bollinger has been rescinded. You better pull up your socks ...
Yes We Ca ... Uh, No We Can't. Put Away The Glove, Brandon
As we mentioned this morning, one of the great end zone celebration gestures of all time was cruelly aborted last night when Brandon Marshall scored the winning touchdown in the Broncos' 34-30 triumph over the Browns in Cleveland. In the video below you'll hear Marshall explain how he reached into h...
Quinn's Debut Inspires A Nation, Browns Lose As Usual
With all the excitement over the big stimulus package that was the debut of Brady Quinn and the return of Kellen Winslow — turns out they're real, and they're fantastic — we all ignored the real issues: Jay Cutler and Brandon McDonald. The shy, self-effacing Broncos quarterback threw for 447 yards a...
When All Else Fails, Imply That They're Gay
The war of words between Joey Porter and, oh, everybody went from moderately amusing barbs to junior high homosexual jokes, which is typical in the hypersensitive, homophobic world of professional football players. When Porter questioned the NFL allowing Jaguars receiver Matt Jones to still play aft...
Welcome the New Brown Prince of Football....
In just a couple of hours Brady Quinn will ditch the clipboard and gallantly sprint to the front of the huddle to rescue the Cleveland Browns from their 3-5 misery. Americans who have the NFL Network as part of their premium cable packages will scrutinize his poise, his arm strength, and some will ...
Who Can Reassemble The Smoldering Rubble That Is The Oakland Raiders?
As bad as things are going for the San Francisco 49ers this season, they aren't even close to being the most dysfunctional football team in the Bay Area. Just how bad are things in Raiderland, on a scale of 1 to Armageddon? Cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha (pictured) and safety Gibril Wilson are now talki...
Cocaine Is A Helluva Drug
That's the second time that phrase has been used today, but in this case it seems much more appropriate. This will air on Friday's "Best Damn Sports Show Period". I love how terrified Chris Rose looks after it happens. It's almost like he's just realized that Lawrence Taylor is, in fact, crazy and ...