NFL Page 1285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Players Move Around Less Than You Thought
We know that football is a violent game, full of huge men slamming into each other at frightening rates of speed. But, so you know, the 60 minutes of football you watch actually features less action than you think it does....
Norv, Baby, Norv
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....
It Is Indeed Always Sunny There
On the whole, Philadelphia fans were awfully supportive of Donovan McNabb yesterday, and sheesh, why wouldn't they be? He threw four touchdowns and torched an undefeated team. (Well, Detroit, but still.) But this is Philadelphia: There are always a few grumpy holdouts....
There's Something About Brett
Brett Favre threw three touchdown passes, including a 57-yard strike to Greg Jennings late in the game, to tie Dan Marino for the all-time touchdown mark and lead the Packers over the Chargers, 31-24....
Setting The Second Table ...
Well, McNabb is nearly done taking out his frustration on the Lions, Steven Jackson still refuses to score a touchdown, and my Bills got their now 0-3 asses handed to them. Whatta say we get to these four o'clock games, eh?...
Cuz That Body's Too Bootylicious For Ya, Eh, Rog?
I didn't see this myself, but according to Foul Balls, Charlie Casserly reported on Inside the NFL this morning that the league sent a memo last week to all 32 teams informing them that they can no longer torture the visiting team with some well-placed tits and ass....
It's One O'Clock and Here Is Frank Gore
It's no BDD Jamboroo, but let's take a look at today's one o'clock NFL games anyway ......
It's Good To Be Jimmy Johnson
On a lazy Friday afternoon, we present to you, apropos of nothing, a montage of Jimmy Johnson looking ridiculous....
That Series Of Tubes Can Be Confusing
When you think of all the technological wizardry NFL coaches have at their dispersal, we wonder sometimes if the next world-changing innovation will spawn from the mind of a Dorito-peppered slouch coach bunkered in his office at 4 a.m., watching game film and suddenly discovering cold fusion. They c...
No One Cares About Your Fantasy Team? WRONG, WHORE!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Looking Sharp, Philadelphia!
If you are watching the Eagles game this Sunday, there is nothing wrong with your television set. Donovan McNabb is still black, and those really are the Eagles uniforms....
Chris Henry Probably Isn't Felonious; Just Dumb
We know what suspended Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was doing on Sunday; he was watching football with our own MJD. And now we know what he doing the rest of the week; accidentally stealing rental cars....
Welcome Back, Byron
Byron Leftwich, here showcasing his vaunted scrambling ability, has signed a two-year deal with the Atlanta Falcons. It seems like a logical destination, though we hope it doesn't affect Joey Harrington's performance having a guy breathing down his neck. You don't want to mess with a beautiful thing...
Mike Ditka, Socratic Orator
Yesterday, a group of retired athletes, along with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and NFLPA wingnut Gene Upshaw, testified before Congress about the lack of sufficient benefits for former NFL players. This is a noble cause — a lot of these guys can barely walk — but one that we suspect is not helpe...
This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole o...
Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business!...
Woe To The Eagles Fans (And Those Who Sit Near Them)
The pregame festivities might have been more exciting than the actual game, but, nevertheless, we're gonna do our best to keep our distance from Eagles fans for the next couple of days....
Your Chance To See Philly Fans In Prime Time
A night game in Philadelphia always seems, to us, like asking for trouble. Even if fans actually do go to work today, if they leave at 5 p.m., they're gonna have enough time to really mess some matters up. Or, you know, paint their bodies....
Leave Bill Belichick Alone!
This guy must have watched the Crazy Britney Fan video at least fifty times to achieve this degree of nuance, and for that I salute him. He also gets a couple points for the Brady jersey. Not sure about the touque, though. I managed not to laugh out loud until near the end, when he slipped in one fi...