NFL Page 661 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How The Patriots' Defense Put The Rams In A Trash Can
Okay, so Jared Goff looked lost and Sean McVay had no clue how to adjust and the Patriots basically needed just one touchdown drive to win another stinkin’ Super Bowl while also defeating what we all thought was the future of the NFL. So what did New England do that so panicked Goff and McVay? Mostl...
Jared Goff Blew It
We have to start with what should have been the Super Bowl’s first touchdown. Late in the third quarter, Robert Woods dragged a trio of defenders over to the left sideline while Brandin Cooks ran briefly uncovered into the end zone, only to go unseen by Jared Goff long enough for Jason McCourty to ...
Bill Belichick Stands Athwart The Future
When the most tedious Super Bowl in history had ended and you had picked up your jaw after learning that Tom Brady had not been named the game’s most valuable player out of desperation and habit, you realized that, fittingly, most people did not get what they wanted out of America’s Jesus-Free Chris...
The Rams Had No Answer For One Patriots Play
If you squint really hard, and maybe turn your head 75 degrees to the right, you could find an oasis of good football in the desert of crap that was Super Bowl 53. It didn’t come in the first half, which was the second-lowest scoring opening 30 minutes in Super Bowl history. And it didn’t come from ...
Three Points? Three Goddamn Points?
This motherfucker. This little baby we’ve been hearing about all year. The wunderkind who’s revolutionizing football and forcing owners all over the league to hand their teams over to the first stubbled quarterbacks coach they can find. He scored three points in the Super Bowl!...
Where The Hell Was Todd Gurley?
The last thing anybody wants to hear on this awful Monday morning is “Bill Belichick takes away your best player,” but, uh, that’s exactly what he did to the Rams’ dismal offense in the Patriots’ 13-3 Super Bowl win. Nothing at all went right anywhere for Los Angeles when they had the ball, but thei...
Mondo Fucking Dumbass Insanely Wrong On Super Bowl Prediction
Here’s CBS NFL analyst Tony Romo, seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators, giving his Super Bowl prediction from last week. Check out Nostradamus over here!...
The Worst People Win Again
All the terrible people are happy today. Robert Kraft is happy, and presumably has a low arm wrapped around an auto show model, because another ring only further burnishes his title of King Of All Owners. Tom Brady is happy because he gets to frame himself as an underdog who overcame impossible odds...
Well, That Sucked
At no time was Super Bowl 53 as compelling, entertaining, or satisfying as that video of a naked guy pooping while flipping into a lake. Sunday evening would have been better spent watching that again. But we watch the Super Bowls we are given, so our options are either to admire the defensive domin...
Tom Brady Got <i>Thiiiiiis</i> Close To Kissing Bob Kraft On The Lips
The Patriots won the Super Bowl again (hooray, whatever). As the celebrations for the lowest-scoring title game in this era of the league’s history began, an inescapable scrum of photographers, security personnel, and CBS’s Tracy Wolfson immediately began to surround Tom Brady as he celebrated with ...
God Fucking Dammit
Well the Patriots won the fucking Super Bowl again, defeating the Rams 13-3. It was somehow even less fun to watch than that last sentence was to read, as 53 minutes elapsed before anything of substance happened on the offensive side of the ball. Tom Brady now has more Super Bowl wins than any other...
Exciting Play Almost Happens
Holy shit! This could have really swung things in the Patriots’ favor by giving them the best field position they would have had all day! Instead, it resulted in a good stiff-arm for Anderson and a seven-yard gain. Too bad the ball is an oblong shape and it just escaped the grasp of Dont’a Hightower...
Super Bowl Record Broken
If ever there were a Super Bowl to set a punting record, this was the one....
Patriots' Patrick Chung Exits Super Bowl In Air Cast After Going Down With Arm Injury
Patriots safety Patrick Chung was taken out of the Super Bowl on his own power after suffering an arm injury during a tackle attempt in the third quarter of the game....
At Least It Can Only Get Better From Here, Right?
Well that was horrendously boring....
Super Bowl Officials Couldn't Even Get The Make-Up Call On Nickell Robey-Coleman Right
You gotta hand it to NFL officials, they always find a way to screw-up even the simplest of lay-ups....
Report: The Patriots Blame Tom Brady's Quack Trainer For Gronk's Injuries
Rob Gronkowski is hobbled and washed, and Patriots brass at least in part blames Alex Guerrero, Tom Brady’s quack/body advisor. That’s according to a report by the NFL Network’s Michael Giardi:...
Soft Baby President Says Football Too Scary For Child <em></em>
Throughout the 2016 campaign and well into his administration, Donald Trump has made a point of calling the modern NFL cowardly and unwatchable for its slightly increased emphasis on concussion prevention. A sampling:...
What Time Does 'What Time Does The Super Bowl Start?' Start?
The time has come once again for the “big game,” the football-related contest that surrounds every first Sunday of February, the race to the top for the big trophy. That trophy is, of course, dominance over other grimy web publications who engage in the now-annual, semi-hallowed practice of debasing...
NFL Teams Are Taking All The Wrong Lessons From Sean McVay's Success
It’s a commonplace that the NFL is a copycat league, but that doesn’t tell the whole story. Look at the rise of Sean McVay, which in recent months has prompted a mad scramble among teams for McVayalikes the world over. Confronted with one successful unorthodox coaching hire, many NFL teams seized on...