NFL Page 662 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Not Even The Lawyers Can Agree On What's Going On With The NFL Concussion Settlement
A judge’s order that called for a clarification of the physicians’ rules for the NFL concussion settlement will not affect the standard those physicians must use to issue a qualifying diagnosis, thus ostensibly making it easier for former players to qualify for settlement money, according to a lawye...
I, The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots, Know They'll Finally Be Exposed As A Sham In Their Third Straight Super Bowl
After my previous missive, one written before the New England Patriots defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC title game and earned a trip to the Super Bowl, I had many common oafs criticize my prognostication through electronic mail and other various mediums. You lummox, these messages would st...
Roger Goodell Says He Reached Out To The Saints; Michael Thomas Says That's A Lie
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was his usual charmless, evasive self at yesterday’s annual pre-Super Bowl press conference. He dodged all the hard questions and didn’t have anything interesting to say, but he did claim to have reached out to Saints head coach Sean Payton and a few Saints players in ...
Patrick Peterson: Upon Second Thought, I Shall Ride The Towering Assberg
Back in October, with his horrid Cardinals stuck at 1–6 and playing like a gigantic ass that was pooped out by an even larger ass, Pro Bowl cornerback Patrick Peterson reached the end of his rope and demanded a trade, sending word through Adam Schefter that he “desperately” wanted a change of scener...
Here Is A Delightful Anecdote From Cameron Jordan About The Browns Being Incompetent
Now, everyone knows that former Cal defensive lineman Cameron Jordan was selected with the 24th overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. What the Tom Heckert/Pat Shurmur–era Browns presupposed at the time was....maybe he wasn’t?...
The Skins Heard You Love Rob Ryan So They Put A Rob Ryan In Your Rob Ryan
Earlier today, Washington’s football team named Rob Ryan its inside linebackers coach. Linebacking is a skill that cannot be coached by just one man! They announced the hiring of the longtime NFL defensive coordinator with a press release and a tweet. The latter is what I’m interested in here....
Don't Forget That Rams Owner Stan Kroenke Is A Shitbird With Bad Hair
For what feels like the 74th straight season but is actually the third, the Patriots are in the Super Bowl. Everyone hates them, for a suite of reasons both worthwhile and petty. While I still would like the Rams to win out of spite, in the abstract, a Super Bowl championship for owner Stan Kroenke ...
There's Nothing To Say About This Super Bowl
The week leading up to the Super Bowl is always bad for one reason or another. Sometimes it’s because one particular storyline gets beaten into the ground by every media outlet; other times it’s because a particularly loathsome team or player or coach gets hyped so thoroughly that the mere mention o...
Please Stop Praising The Idiot Football Men For Dressing Poorly In Cold Weather<em></em>
As you might have heard, it’s cold outside in large portions of the country today. It’s so cold that (PSA: there is no punchline forthcoming) the National Weather Service has warned citizens of Chicago that frostbite can set in after just five minutes of exposure to such extreme temperatures. Has th...
Hate The Patriots For The Right Reason
The idea as pitched was to do one more takeout of the essential evil that is the New England Patriots collective—because, yeah, that’s never been done before. Up until now, it’s been one hagiography after another, because the Patriots have been so damned cuddly and cheek-pinchable. The helmet logo i...
A Brief History Of Dan Snyder’s Superyachts, Which Have Put Him In Elizabeth Warren's Crosshairs
The two greatest days in Dan Snyder’s life are the day he buys a boat, and the day he buys a bigger boat....
<i>Madden</i> Is As Full Of Anonymous Players As The NFL Itself
It’s hardly a selling point, but this year’s edition of Madden has the real Kyle Lauletta. The game’s rendering of the Giants’ rookie quarterback—who stepped into a blowout win against Washington in Week 13 to throw five incompletions and a pick and then meekly returned to clipboard and donut-gofer ...
This Pro Bowl Play Broke Me
The Pro Bowl transcends criticism, or praise. (The latter transcendence is academic, because no one has ever praised the Pro Bowl, not even, I don’t think, the players who are selected for it.) It it bulletproof to all disparagement because that disparagement necessarily takes place on a plane the g...
Jason Witten Broke The Damn Pro Bowl Trophy
Here’s the most Pro Bowl shit ever: Jason Witten broke the Pro Bowl trophy while trying to award it to AFC team members Patrick Mahomes and Jamal Adams....
Patrick Mahomes Cared Enough About His Pro Bowl Performance To Drop An F-Bomb On Live TV
One of the feeble attempts at making the Pro Bowl seem somewhat interesting has been broadcasting quarterback cadences and conversations as they’re on the field. But even that nearly fell apart....
Report: Washington Will Be "Pleasantly Surprised" If Alex Smith Is Ready To Play Next Season
Washington is going into its offseason preparations with the expectation that starting quarterback Alex Smith will not be available to play next year, according to NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport....
Jon Gruden Marks Senior Bowl Standouts With Raiders Stickers So He Doesn't Forget Who He Liked
Turns out that when Jon Gruden said he wanted to bring back coaching strategies from 1998, he also meant motivational tactics from that era as well. As Gruden and the rest of his Raiders staff coached the North to a 34-24 victory over the South in this year’s Senior Bowl, he decided congratulate eac...
NFL Finally Takes Action On Uncalled Hit That Cost The Saints A Super Bowl Trip
By now, you’re probably sick of hearing about Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman’s hit on Saints wideout Tommylee Lewis in the NFC Championship Game, which failed to draw a penalty flag that would have all but clinched the game for New Orleans. Since that play, everyone from current Saints player...
Useless Senator From Louisiana Takes To The Floor To Moan About The Saints Game
The U.S. government entered day 35 of its shutdown today. Hundreds of thousands of federal employees have not been paid in over a month, the airline industry is on the brink of total collapse, and the lines outside food banks get longer every day. Meanwhile, Louisiana Republican Senator Bill Cassid...