NFL Page 690 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Fucking Fireman Ed Is Back, Again
Fireman Ed announced his “retirement” from, uhh, attending Jets games in a helmet and teaching Jets fans how to spell a one-syllable word back in 2012. He’s made appearances since then, but only do to heroic things like pass the torch to a younger generation of people who loudly spell a word at foot...
Michael Bidwill Still Thinks High School Pal Brett Kavanaugh Should Be Confirmed To The Supreme Court
Arizona Cardinals President Michael Bidwill directly mixed politics with football—maybe he wouldn’t think so, but that’s what he did—in July, when he used the team’s website to support Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, his old high school classmate at Georgetown Prep. Although Kavanaugh, who is...
Cops Will Try To Halt The Tailgating Bills Fans' War Against Tables
The Buffalo Bills will play their first home game of the season this Sunday against the Chargers. (The last time those two teams played, Nathan Peterman threw five picks in a half.) Hordes of Zubaz-clad Bills fans will presumably mark the home opener as is tradition: by getting mega drunk and tryin...
Geno Atkins Wrecked The Ravens
The clip above shows Bengals defensive tackle Geno Atkins chasing down a quarterback for a sack in the open field. So what if Ravens QB Joe Flacco isn’t all that fleet of foot? Atkins weighs 300 pounds. Like a bowling ball rolling downhill, he quickly covered a lot of ground to make that play. It ha...
Mike Vrabel Doesn't Have A Quarterback So He'll Play Two Quarterbacks
Titans coach Mike Vrabel is one week into his NFL head coaching career, and so far his contributions to the franchise have consisted of an obnoxious pregame workout routine and getting beat by the Dolphins. But he’s got a new wrinkle for Week 2: two quarterbacks at the same time....
Jerry Jones The Owner Might Want To Have A Word With Jerry Jones The GM
The hot new trend for NFL teams looking to establish and sustain success is to construct a deep roster around a young quarterback on a cost-controlled contract. The Eagles won last year’s Super Bowl doing this. The Rams, Bears, Chiefs, Buccaneers, and Titans are using the same blueprint this season....
Steve Smith And Michael Irvin Are Still Not The Best Of Friends
Since retiring from the NFL in 2017, Steve Smith has made the seamless switch from a brash, loud-mouth receiver to a brash, loud-mouth analyst on the NFL Network. In this latest example, Smith, who played for the Ravens from 2014-16, snapped on fellow analyst Michael Irvin after he said Anquan Boldi...
Roger Goodell Is Trying His Best To Appear Woke
Kaepernick collusion case be damned, Roger Goodell is trying his best to be the corporate face of social progress for the NFL....
White-Collar Crime Is Apparently Not Enough To Halt An NFL Career
After pleading guilty to federal charges of insider trading, linebacker Mychal Kendricks will be sentenced in January of next year. That doesn’t mean he can’t still continue his side hustle as a pro football player, though....
I Did Not Buy 6,500 Pairs Of Nikes To Send To The Dump, But Thousands Of Idiots Think I Did
First off, let’s get something out of the way: I did not purchase $1.3 million dollars’ worth of Nike Air VaporMaxes (White/Varsity Purple/Metallic Silver/Aqua, size 9.5) with the intent of shipping them to the Glendale city dump....
At Least One Nathan Peterman Defender Exists, And He's A Shitbird
The Buffalo Bills officially announced on Wednesday that flailing intern Nathan Peterman would no longer be their starting QB, to the relief of Bills fans and probably Peterman himself, who never asked to become synonymous with incompetence just because his team had an irrational fear of Tyrod Taylo...
Sean McVay Is Doing The Spooky Brain Thing Again
They say that humans only use 10 percent of our brains. They go on to say that the claim that humans only use 10 percent of our brains—in addition to being a major plot point of the delightful Albert Brooks movie Defending Your Life—is a myth. Truly they cannot be trusted on this matter, but this mu...
Doug Marrone Claims He's "So Pissed Off" At Not Reaching A Super Bowl That He's Never Watched One
Jaguars coach Doug Marrone probably should have coached in the Super Bowl last season and, if he had, he would have witnessed his first Super Bowl action in, uh, over 40 years, somehow? Marrone told ESPN today that he didn’t watch last season’s Super Bowl, not even to scout for the Patriots this wee...
Never Mind, The Raiders Actually Want Martavis Bryant Now
The Oakland Raiders dropped wide receiver Martavis Bryant 11 days ago, insisting at the time that the guy they traded a third-round pick for on draft night wasn’t released because of a possible drug suspension, but rather because he wasn’t very good and kept missing practice. Now, they’ve taken him ...
A New Jersey federal judge dismissed a class-action lawsuit that accused the New York Jets of screwing over PSL holders. “Agreement expressly disclaims that plaintiff is not acquiring the PSL as an investment or with a view to profiting from future distribution or resale, and further that Defendants...
I Drafted My Fantasy Team Based On A Rigorous Evaluation Of NFL Players' Social Media Personalities
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....
Bills Finally Admit Nathan Peterman Has No Business Being A Starting QB
The Buffalo Bills have finally stopped trying to make Nathan Peterman happen. Head coach Sean McDermott said today that rookie quarterback Josh Allen would start this Sunday for the Bills’ game against the Chargers....
The Skins Are About To Officially Lose Another Bullcrap Attendance Streak
The news in this Washington Post report is less that the Skins will fail to sell out their home opener against the Colts Sunday—their streak of sellouts has been illegitimate garbage for literally years—and more that the Skins have reached such a state of desperation that they’re finally revealing, ...
Never Forget Dan Snyder's "Fifth Anniversary Of 9/11" Skins Caps
Today marks the 12th anniversary of Dan Snyder selling five-year anniversary 9/11 memorabilia for profit....
Sam Darnold Fills The NFL's Poise-Shaped Hole
It was a mere nine years ago that a rookie Jets quarterback was so awe-inspiring in how he didn’t screw up that observers were only able to describe him with one word: poise. Well, Mark Sanchez now has a true heir. In last night’s season opener, first-year Jets QB Sam Darnold went 16-for-21 with 198...