Foul Ball Girl Runs Afoul Of The Law

And you thought you'd heard the last of Sara Saco-Vertiz, she of the Foul Ball Couple that captured America's hearts for a few brief weeks back in the summer of '10. She's back, drinking underage at Universal Studios Orlando.

To recap: Boy meets girl. Boy cheats on girl. Boy and girl go to a baseball game together. Boy pussies out, girl gets hit with foul ball. Boy and girl do the morning show rounds. Boy and girl squabble on Facebook. Girl puts scandalous photos out.

All caught up? Good, because none of this, none of this really matters at all. What am I doing here? I have a J-School degree. Why am I reporting on the lives of stupid, stupid teenagers and their stupid teenage problems?

Take it away,

An arrest report alleges the 19-year-old Texan who lives in South Florida lied to police about her name, residence and age after an officer caught her drinking wine Saturday at the popular night spot. The drinking age is 21.

Saco-Vertiz of Hollywood told the officer she was 21-year-old Elissa Hamman of Buffalo, N.Y., the report shows.

The officer tested her by asking if she was a fan of the Buffalo Sabres hockey team. She replied that she prefers the Dallas Cowboys - a football team.

That last line is debatable these days, but whatever. Stay tuned to Deadspin, where I'm sure I'll be here to bring you the latest breaking news in the lives of these dumbass teenagers.

'Foul-ball girlfriend' arrested at Universal with fake ID, cup of wine [Orlando Sentinel]