After years of scheduled practices, workouts, and games, the unstructured life of retirement can be a shock for any professional athlete who decides to hang it up for the last time at the end of their season. But for some, the shock of adjusting to everyday life doesn’t have to be a bad thing, as Dwyane Wade has apparently discovered.
Gabrielle Union was on James Corden’s late night show on Thursday and she was asked about how the three-time NBA champion was getting along with the retired life. Her description of Wade’s early post-playing days makes it sound like aliens had kidnapped the Miami legend for over a decade, and suddenly returned him to Earth without any explanation. Wade apparently has his mind blown nowadays by things as simple as the existence of Old Navy, or going to the car wash. But the best story has to do with Wade’s accidental Lucille Bluth impression when talking about milk (“What is that, $20?”).
To his credit, it’s not like the price of milk, or how waiting for the vet works, was necessary information Wade needed in his brain since he was able to put together a hall of fame-worthy career without it. Still, the thought of something like the jazzy hold music that gets played during customer service calls fascinating Wade brings me quite a lot of joy.