Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Hey, look! It’s The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, definitely unknowingly walking smack-dab into what in no way looks like a prearranged and staged TMZ ambush today in Los Angeles, where reporters lurked to find out what famous Hollywood power-player Bill Simmons thinks will happen in Game 6 of the World Series, definitely because he is a major celebrity and not at all because his unloved HBO show could use the attention. Doot de doot de doo, I totally am just casually walkin’ along with my salad, by mere happenstance directly toward the TMZ cameraman waiting to recite a baseball factoid at me and solicit my World Series take. Oh no, here comes a paparazzi ambush, which I totally did not expect at all! 


I would like to call your attention to the extremely weak sports take issued here by the most famous sports opinion-haver in the Western Hemisphere.

“Their pitching is better,” he says of the Cleveland Indians, who will be running out a light fixture and Andrew Miller against the Cubs’ Jake Arrieta and Aroldis Chapman. This is a take you would make a stinkface at if the bozo next to you at the bar issued it! The thing you would say, in response, is: “What.”

Bill should have prepared a better response in advance of this totally spontaneous and surprising sidewalk interview.


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