Goldy Gopher Trucks Child, Celebrates Horrifyingly

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There’s no other way to put it: Goldy Gopher destroyed a kid unnecessarily.

During Mascot Mania 2, a mascot football game held at halftime of the Vikings’ 34-17 win over the Buccaneers Sunday, the University of Minnesota mascot took a toss from Viktor the Viking. He sprinted toward the end zone. Glory was just yards away. But on the way to the end zone, he went out of his way to stiff arm a child.

The GIF above does not paint a full picture. The full video on the Vikings website shows that Goldy’s hit was so hard it literally causes someone within range of the mic to yell, “Oh my god.” (Another point of interest: The Pink Panther theme is the background music to this game, for some reason.)


Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with a mascot trucking a child in a halftime football game. Except if you watch the replay you’ll see that the trucked defender was already partially engaged with the blocker (a horrifying bird-man, PK, that apparently supports Minnesota United FC). Slightly poor form, Goldy Gopher!


Then we move on to Goldy’s touchdown celebration, which was so unsettling it deserved a flag way more than did Odell Beckham Jr.’s dog urination.


Of course, this whole scene is like this: There is something disturbing about an untucked referee shirt. And why is that cameraman just walking onto the field? No, no, this is all wrong!

h/t Bill