Golf Page 133 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Phil Mickelson Is Just Looking To Maintain His Physique
Hefty Lefty is in talks to purchase 105 Waffle House restaurants. I realize "restaurant" is a generous choice of words, but the All-Star Special breakfast is a dearer prize than the Green Jacket. [Bloomberg]...
Giant Inflatable Penis Owner Explains Herself, Giant Inflatable Penis
Many will remember this year's American Century Championship for Tony Romo's valiant efforts and Rick Rhoden's continued dominance of the tournament, but the big, bright shining star of Saturday's action was a six-foot dong peeking over Michael Jordan's shoulder....
How To Get Donald Trump All Fired Up
The Donald was cruising around Trump National — the best, most stupendously fabulous course in New Jersey, of course — when someone stole his No. 13 golf cart. Doesn't he have, like, apprentices to make sure that doesn't happen? [Star-Ledger]...
Sports Psychologist Takes Full Credit For Stewart Cink
Who is really to blame for "stepping on a Hall of Famer's neck" and ruining golf forever by not laying down for Tom Watson. Not that jerk Stewart Cink. Send a note to Dr. Morris Pickens, famous sports psychologist, instead....
Well, That Was Anticlimactic
Congratulations, Stewart Cink, on your first major championship. Too bad no one cares. Do you remember who beat Jean Van de Velde in '99? All we'll remember from Turnberry is Tom Watson missing an 8-footer for the Claret Jug....
Tom Watson Still 59, Still Leading The Open Yeah, About That...
Three holes to go, and the old man is up by a stroke. Let's hope he doesn't have one before he enters the clubhouse. [PGA Leaderboard]...
Ross, You're A Heckuva Lot More Likely To Have Another Child Than Win Another Open
Ross Fisher, currently near the top at the Open, is ready to scurry off the course at any moment should his wife go into labor. "Hopefully, I can hang on for one more day, and hopefully she can." [NY Post]...
In That Other Golf Tournament This Weekend...
Tony Romo, fresh off a breakup with his biggest fan, storms out to the lead of another celebrity get-together, while Charles Barkley is not in last. Who needs Hank Haney when you've got the modified Stableford system? [GOLF]...
Tiger Woods To Miss The Cut At British Open
Woods had two double bogeys on the back nine to finish +5, but the projected cut is 4-over. Only his second missed cut at major since turning pro. Old Tom Watson somehow still tied for the lead. [Open Championship]...
Angry Scotsmen Overshadow Actual Golf At British Open
We've got all eyes on Tiger and a 17-year-old phenom, and we've got Tom Watson nearly shooting his age. But what the British Open really needed was a good catfight....
In Which We Attempt To Translate British Journalism
If the English language isn't yet universal, then the verse of sports should be. I've never understood, then, why it is that I can't comprehend a word of 19th-century British newspapers....
Drug Mule Puts Cocaine In Golf Clubs, Gets Shafted
Note to aspiring drug smugglers: If you're smuggling blow through an airport by stuffing it inside golf equipment, it helps to know a little something about golf. And no, a "handicap" does not mean you have a limp....
The LPGA Continues To Ratchet Up The Crazy
The next time I'm hacking away on my local muni, I'm going to pretend like I'm snowboarding, because that's what Italian golfer Giulia Sergas does. Imaginary frostbite nipping at my windwhipped nose, I'll fit right in with the LPGA....
Brave Colin Montgomerie Takes Shots at Pirates
A bunch of goofballs dressed as pirates dared golfers at the Scottish Open to hit their water-borne target—so Colin Montgomerie took them out his wedge and nailed it. (From about 60 yards away.) Lousy pirates.... [Daily Mail/Sports Rubbish]...
Bringing SexyBack To Golf
Justin Timberlake — former frontman for *NSYNC, international pop superstar, 6-handicap on the links — is shopping his first book. It's about golf, and it's reportedly a memoir about the 28-year-old's memorable rounds. Well, no one's done that before. [NYO]...
Tiger Woods: Winner Of Own AT & T National Tournament, Budding Comedian
Another great day for Gillette spokespeople: Tiger Woods wins the 2009 AT &T National, Federer won Wimbledon, and Jeter hit a walkoff. Since it's Tiger's tournament, he's the only one who got to interview himself. .[Waggle Room]...
For Tony Romo, Fans Fumble Golf Etiquette
Tiger Woods teed off today with Tony Romo in his pro-am at Congressional Country Club. In Washington D.C. Spectators don't really like Tony Romo there, so they boo him. But Jessica Simpson — she's OK anywhere. [D.C. Sports Bog]...
The Donald Trumps The LPGA Championship
"Ever since opening his Trump National-Bedminster golf club four years ago, Donald Trump has been angling for a major championship or tour event.... Trump received his first major championship offer: the LPGA Championship. He turned it down." [Star-Ledger]...
Pistol-Wielding Old Man Would Like To Play Through
It is super annoying when you're out on the golf course and the group in front of you is playing very slowly, but I was not aware that I had a "moral obligation to destroy" these duffers with hollow-point bullets....
Drunk Golfer Tries To Drive Home In Rented Golf Cart
A golf cart may seem safer than a regular car—especially when you've just downed 10 beers over 18 holes—but that does not mean you should try to drunk drive one home after a day on the links....