Golf Page 142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Essay Contest: Win a Date With LPGA Golfer Natalie Gulbis
Tme to sharpen those #2 pencils. The subject of the essay contest is "Who's Behind Your Success?" To be fair the contest actually specifies that you win a day with Natalie Gulbis and not a date. But that day is in Las Vegas. So have at it. Essays must be in by midnight on August 4. I suggest this op...

British Open co-leader? Rocco F'in Mediate
Fresh off his one-stroke 18 hole playoff loss to Tiger, the man, the myth, the legend, Rocco Mediate clocked in his first round at -1. So if you had a dream that man boobs were going to own the British Open and you rushed to Vegas to lay your money on Phil, you picked the wrong tits....

Phil Mickelson and John Daly Might As Well Go Get Wasted in a Pub
Rolling into the British Open Phil Mickelson was optimistic this could be his year. By 10:30 eastern, we knew that wasn't the case. The Hefty Left swung his manboobs from one side of the fairway to the other on his way to a robust 79. At least he didn't waste any time taking himself out of competiti...

British Open Preview: Living In A World Without Tigers
This year, please welcome back Shane Bacon, golfing bon vivant from Dogs That Chase Cars, as he gives us a fantastic preview to this year's British Open. It can still be interesting without Tiger. Right?...

John Daly and Butch Harmon in Catfight on Eve of British Open
After swing coach Butch Harmon said Daly was more interested in drinking and having a good time than he was in being a good golfer. Daly, who is more interested in drinking and having a good time than being a good golfer, took offense. Now he's finally firing back from England. Sort of....

Brothers Hit Back-to-Back Hole in Ones on TPC-Sawgrass 3
Davis Massey is 11 and his brother Hanks is 9. If you really want to piss off your golfing friends, forward this link along to everyone who golfs and has never hit a hole-in-one. Which is basically everyone. Then ask, did you ever get a hole in one before? That question infuriates golfers. And now t...

Tiger Woods Still on Track to be a Billionaire by 2011
Even with the injured knee. This will make Woods the first sports billionaire. At least he doesn't have a hot swedish wife, or an island home, or a huge yacht that costs more than the GNP of Moldova. Then it might be kind of hard to root for the guy to make putts over man-boobed fifty year olds....

Jean Van de Velde Qualifies for British Open
Van de Velde, who memorably choked away the 1999 British Open with a triple bogey, was one of four golfers to qualify for next week's British Open. Even better for Van de Velde, he birdied the 18th hole to qualify....

Youth Golfers Get Blindsided By Boob-Infested Golf Outing
A golf team of pre-teen youngsters got a little more than they expected when they showed up for their junior club golf outing on Monday. Due to a scheduling "miscommunication" the lucky kids got to share the clubhouse with the annual Shotgun Willie's Charity Golf Tournament, an event sponsored by a ...

PGA Braces For A Year Of Living Tigerlessly
The PGA tour is now officially in trouble. Tiger Woods, athlete of the century, god amongst golfers and multi-blade razor pitchman, will have knee surgery to repair a torn ACL that will keep him out the rest of the 2008 season. Tiger, taking a break from having acrobatic intimate relations with his ...


After Three Holes ... Rocco Up By One Stroke
Former fat guy and poker aficionado Rocco Mediate almost had a hole in one on the third hole par 3. He ended up with a birdie and is even through three. Tiger bogey'd the hole after shot out of the bunker went 15 feet past the pin....

Some Monday Afternoon Championship Golf For You
The US Open playoff — and how cool is it that they make the two people who tie play another 18 holes the next day? — tees off in about 20 minutes. As Jason Sobel put it, it's Tiger's knee vs. Tiger's brain. Or, as we put it, it's Tiger's knee against Rocco Mediate's male pattern baldness. Don't worr...

Today We Honor All Middle-Aged Slightly Tubby Guys ... And Tiger Of Course
You know, you have to feel for Rocco Mediate. The guy staves off Tiger Woods all day, the best player in the world on his tail, a 46-year-old man playing the tournament of his life, and his reward is to go 18 more holes tomorrow against the guy. The goal should be survival at this point....

In Case You Forgot Why Tiger Woods Got To Marry A Swedish Model
Like many humans and corporate executives before him, Tiger Woods began his round of golf on Saturday with a double bogey. But unlike everyone else, he finished the back nine with two eagles and a birdie. Only Dick Cheney sets himself up in a better position to shoot more types of bird on a weekend...

Your Deadspin U.S. Open Preview
We don't know much about golf, but we do know that The U.S. Open Is Important. Therefore, with the Tiger Watch teeing off tomorrow, we asked resident golf impresario Shane Bacon, of Dogs That Chase Cars, to preview it for us. So here goes....

Golfing Hazards That Could Have Maimed A Small Population Of Tennesseeans
Just in time for Father's Day, the Hidden Valley golf course in Tennessee is doing some major upkeep on its course like bunker shaping, filling in deep barrancas, aerating and...bomb removal. Yes, hole number five of Hidden Valley had, according to bulldozer driver Freddie McGee, an "old tube-type b...

Hand Me The Pissing Wedge
Urologist Floyd Seskin developed the UroClub (as opposed to the Spaniard-bashing stick I invented, the EuroClub) for golfers who would like to relieve themselves without the long trip back to the clubhouse. It's made to look like a 7-iron and make you look like a tool. And it's yours for the low, l...

Who's Quitting Now? Annika Sorenstam, Among Others
Now this is the way to quit. Simple announcement, no ambiguity, definite schedule for withdrawal. Annika Sorenstam, who announced on Tuesday that she's leaving the LPGA Tour at the end of the season, is employing an exit strategy the Bush Administration is envying. Oh, and you can also bet that she'...