Stop us if this sounds familiar: Lionel Messi played soccer the other day, dragging Barcelona to victory with two crucial goals and winning him yet another goalscoring record, this time as the Champions League's joint all-time scorer. The video above shows each one of his 71 goals, from the first one against Panathinaikos in 2005 to his most recent couple against Ajax on Wednesday.
The goals themselves are scored every which way—belters outside the box, tap-ins right in front of the goalmouth, even a few headers for good measure. The crowds' and announcers' reactions vary from orgasmic screams of disbelief to that particular kind of calm pleasure elicited only by an athlete who has produced so many magical moments that they stop being surprising. The one constant, though, is that huge smile on Messi's face as he reels away toward the sideline, a look showing his unending joy while doing the thing he was born to do.