Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap

"Hey, want to go down to the Cardinals game tonight? I've got box seats, right next to the dugout. They aren't in the very first row, but still close enough to smell the pine tar. Should be a great night!

"What's that? A giant hulking monster sitting right in front of us? But St. Louis doesn't even have an NBA team! I think that scenario is pretty unlikely, don't you? There is nothing that can ruin this grand time at the ballyard! Nothing, I say!"

I hope you enjoyed that little play. I wrote it myself.

Sitting Behind Shaq Sucks [Riverfront Times]

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Thursday. Shit. I'm still only in Thursday. Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in the jungle.

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