Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

High School Reunion Horror Stories: Wives Gone Wild

Illustration for article titled High School Reunion Horror Stories: Wives Gone Wild

This weekend, freshly minted adults will have awkward high school reunions all across America. We asked you for your reunion horror stories, and picked four of the best. This one comes from Matt.


One year ago on Black Friday my wife and I attended my 10-year high school reunion in Milwaukee. We made the trip up from Chicago in anticipation of a great night, and it did not disappoint. My wife did not attend my high school, but she grew up not too far from me and we have been together since our sophomore year of high school (precious, I know).

Prior to the actual reunion we met-up with about a dozen friends for dinner and drinks. After, we headed to the reunion at about 8 p.m. Now, let me preface the rest of this story that my wife had given birth six months before, breast fed, and therefore had not drank in a year and a half. So, the night commences with the usual awkward chit chat, reminiscing and drinking. At about 10 p.m. I asked a buddy if he had seen my wife…he had no idea. I ask around a bit and cannot find her anywhere. Finally, I head over by the bathrooms and ask a girl that just came out if she can go back in and yell for my wife. Sure enough, she comes back out to say that she's in there and not doing well. So, I wait for the bathroom to clear and go in to find my wife passed out in her own puke on the floor of the bathroom. I hurriedly go to the coat check, grab our coats, pick her up off the bathroom floor, puke and all, and head to hail a cab. Luckily, the cab comes rather quickly and we escape.

We head back to our nice hotel which I had got in anticipation of our first night alone in a while. Let's just say it was all for not as the rest of the night consisted of me cleaning her up and then passing out in bed. But the night didn't end there.

Earlier, I had a told a buddy of mine we were staying at this particular hotel. At about 3 a.m., I am awaken by a voice saying my name. As a awake, I find a security guard in my room, with my buddy drunkenly smirking behind him, asking if he is with me. I say yes, the security guard leaves, I throw a pillow on the floor and say have at it. I pass back out, only to be waken again at 4:30 a.m. by my buddy kneeling in the corner pissing on the carpet. I yell at him and amazingly he stops mid-stream, walks to the bathroom, finishes peeing, and proceeds to come back and sleep in his own piss.

I awake the next morning to a room reeking of piss and puke and with no adult play to speak of. Moral of the story: don't let your buddies feed your recently pregnant wife drinks, and don't tell them what hotel you're staying at.