"After dinner, Tiger Woods watched football in the living room while sending text messages to Rachel, the famous blond [sic]," according to — oh, man, this is almost too adorable — a former NHL coach.
Pat Burns tells a Montreal radio station that he knows a cop in Florida who knows the inside story of what really happened Thanksgiving night chez Tiger. Burns's inside story sounds remarkably like that other, mostly debunked inside story. I won't bother with the details. You probably know them by heart now: nine-iron to the face, private jet on the wing somewhere in the Florida dawn, supersecret plastic surgery in Phoenix, etc. The only difference is that here, patent bullshit spreads via credulous parents who five years ago were e-mailing with Nigerian princes. In Canada, it spreads via someone who used to coach the Canadiens.
Tiger's teeth knocked out by golf club: Burns [Toronto Sun]