Hockey Page 455 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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Baseball held me hostage last night, but hockey set me free. Midway through yet another four-hour MLB playoff battle, the otherwise compelling action thinned by stoppages and pre-pitch routines, I felt like I was simply watching out of obligation. There wasn’t any kind of happiness or love. It certa...
Connor McDavid Starts The Season By Humiliating The Flames
Edmonton Oilers captain Connor McDavid wasted no time in his team’s first game Wednesday, scoring every goal in a 3-0 opening night win against Calgary. One of them was an empty netter, but still, McDavid earned the hats:...
Every NHL Team Is Bad: A Season Preview
The NHL season starts tonight. Some teams have no realistic chance at a Stanley Cup. Yet all the teams are bad, in their own special ways. ...
What The NHL Is Doing In Calgary Is Pretty Gross
Let’s cut through the sports angle and put in plain terms exactly what’s happening here:...
Erik Karlsson's Quotes About His New Bionic Foot Sound Kind Of Ominous
The Senators’ brand of hockey, a 1-3-1, neutral-zone clogging formation that forces the puck out wide and limits odd-man rushes at both ends of the ice, is aesthetically unappealing, to the point where you find yourself rooting against them in the postseason just so you don’t have to watch them anym...
Georges Laraque Calls Out The Penguins' Decision To Visit The White House
The Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins decided to visit Donald Trump at the White House, in a statement that was released soon after the President uninvited the never-really-invited Golden State Warriors. Former NHL player Georges Laraque, who played for roughly two years in Pittsburgh over a...
Hey Look It's Hockey In Vegas
Maybe admitting to this makes me a bad sports-knower, but until starting this post I had forgotten every single member of the Vegas Golden Knights not named Marc-Andre Fleury. (I do remember that they’re going to be downright awful in their inaugural season, which is fine, that’s what expansion team...
Joel Ward: "I've Experienced A Lot Of Racism Myself In Hockey," May Kneel For Anthem
Sharks winger Joel Ward said that he may kneel in protest during the national anthem in a San Jose Mercury News interview focusing on his experience as one of hockey’s relatively few black players....
Alex Ovechkin Gives Up On The Olympics
All along it’s been clear that NHL players wouldn’t take part in the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea, and all along, Alexander Ovechkin insisted that he’d play for Russia, no matter what the NHL said. But in a statement released by the Capitals today, Ovechkin admitted that it just ...
Flames, NHL Claim Team May Move If Calgary Doesn't Give Rich Asshole Millions
The Calgary Flames announced today that they’re done trying to bilk hundreds of millions of dollars from the city to pay for a new arena, again suggesting that they’re ready and willing to relocate if that’s what it takes to get a new stadium that they don’t have to fund themselves—unless, that is, ...
Pick Up The Stanley Cup Before Someone Tells You Not To
I got paired up with Jim on senior retreat. Holy Ghost Prep, our high school in suburban Philadelphia, had shipped 36 of us to Delaware for spiritual guidance and sleep deprivation. On the last day, we had an activity where we had to make a gift for another person. Jim was a big hockey fan and playe...
Phil Kessel Fills Stanley Cup With Hot Dogs To Own Toronto Columnist
Remember when Steve Simmons, columnist and stooge at the Toronto Sun, kicked off his article about the Maple Leafs trading Phil Kessel with a (later debunked) anecdote about how Kessel used to eat a street hot dog every day? I surely won’t forget that, and two Stanley Cups later, neither has Phil....
Hell Is Winning Free Tickets And Not Realizing It
Predators fan Andrew Fudge wanted some free tickets to see his team play the Penguins in the Stanley Cup, so he entered a promo that the team was running, once before Game 3 and once before Game 4. He’s not much of a Twitter user, and it seems that he forgot about the promo shortly after entering it...
Taxpayer-Funded Detroit Arena Now Sports Massive, Hideous Corporate Ad
The taxpayer-funded new sports arena in Detroit that is not named after Gordie Howe unveiled a new “feature” Tuesday, one that will now dominate any aerial view of Detroit on every TV broadcast in the foreseeable future. The roof of the new arena features a gigantic, ugly logo for a third-rate pizza...
Jacques Ysaye, Who Composed "Brass Bonanza," Dead At 94
Jacques Ysaye, who wrote the catchiest jingle in hockey and possibly all of sports, died last week in Brussels, according to a post on his Facebook page. He was 94....
Lightning Take The Cowards' Way Out On Tampa Confederate Monument
There are two schools of thought on asking sports teams to weigh in on political issues. On the one hand, who cares: They’re just sports teams. But on the other hand, it’s really not that hard to give a bit of public support for basic decency. That’s why the Tampa Bay Lightning come off looking pret...
Watch Large Silly Galoot Alexander Ovechkin Do Some Shirtless Cavorting
Here is a video of a shirtless Alex Ovechkin being a big happy goober while music plays:...
Connor McDavid Is A $100 Million Bargain, But The Oilers' Real Problems Are About To Begin
Connor McDavid, the reigning MVP and still just 20 years old, is going to be in Edmonton for a long, long time, and he’s going to be the highest-salaried player in NHL history—and he’s still a bargain. McDavid has signed an eight-year extension, to go into effect next summer and running through 2026...
Someone Give Jaromir Jagr A Dang Phone Call
Jaromir Jagr played pretty well, not just for a 45-year-old, but for any hockey player in 2017. He notched 16 goals and 30 assists for the Florida Panthers, and Jagr was first on the team in net on-ice shot attempts. As the season went on and Jagr kept skating in every game, the old man’s remark tha...