Hockey Page 530 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Peek Inside The Mind Of An NHL Head Coach
Spoiler....There's not much there. Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson inadvertently gave TV viewers a look at his super-secret game notes and as Orland Kurtenblog says: "this kinda destroys the illusion that an nhl coach works on a higher level." [Kurtenblog]...
Hockey Players Must Humiliate Themselves For National Exposure
Yup, that's Madonna being carried into David Letterman's show by the New York Rangers. The Blueshirts also delivered the first Top Ten list in years to actually have a funny #1. [NYRangers.com]...
Angry Interplanetary Ice Bear Will Destroy Anchorage, Bring Back Hockey
Seriously, this bear is fucking pissed. Wouldn't you be if you were the mascot for an obscure college hockey team in Fairbanks and then got banished to the stars? I would certainly want to smash some shit up, starting with that small moon over there. Do not fuck with the Nanook Space Bear....
The NHL Gets Its Way, And Paradoxically, So Do The Fans
I've been a vocal advocate for Jim Balsillie's plan to move the Coyotes to Ontario. But in the wake of today's ruling to reject his bid, it's clear that the judge made the right decision. The only decision....
How NHL 10 Explains The Real Thing
A sample: "Players can now snatch a puck out of the air with their glove hand (note: feature does not apply to Andrew Raycroft)." Don't say we never did anything for you, hockey fans. [Down Goes Brown]...
Alexander Ovechkin Takes His Wii Very Seriously
Alexander Ovechkin stopped traffic yesterday so he could drive a Zamboni down Manhattan's Sixth Avenue and then school me in some video game hockey. Not as fun as doing 180 with Rachel Nichols riding shotgun, but it was only Wednesday....
Canadian NHL Teams Told To Take The Bus
In a fiendish plot no doubt engineered by Gary Bettman, a government ruling banned the six Canadian NHL teams' charter planes from flying between US cities. This is how the Great Can-Am War begins....
Illiterate Hockey Coach Now Writing Canada's Laws
Former NHL coach Jacques Demers—who admitted in 2005 that he is functionally illiterate—was appointed to the Canadian Senate by his buddy Stephen Harper. Eh, nobody reads government bills anyway. [Toronto Star]...
Patrick Kane Deprives World Of Potentially Amusing Trial
The Blackhawks forward pleads guilty to disorderly conduct and is ordered to apologize the cab driver he allegedly punched. So this whole sorry mess is behind us. Dang. [Mouthpiece Sports]...
Today In Antitrust Violations
Nobody will outbid Ontario-bound Jim Balsillie, so the NHL put in their own bid for the Coyotes, and plans to resell the team to someone, anyone, who will keep them in Phoenix. What a goddamn joke. [NHL.com]...
Tough Actin' Keith Acton Is The Only Lucky Maple Leaf
The good news: The former player won nearly $100,000 in Canada's national lottery. The bad news: $100k isn't nearly enough to quit his job as Toronto's assistant coach. [Toronto Star]...
NHL Sues To Force Coyotes To Fly US Airways
Phoenix has been losing money hand over fist, so the NHL wants them to cut expenses. First up: get rid of that fancy shmancy chartered plane, and start flying the red-headed stepchild of domestic airlines....
Kane Vs. Cabbie Incident "Overblown" According To Everyone
Patrick Kane's taxi cab showdown has created an usual occurrence—lawyers from both sides of the incident complaining that the media has blown it out of proportion. That's no fun....
Patrick Kane Reminds You Why You Should Never Take A Cab Ride In Buffalo
The Blackhawks winger was charged with two counts of felony second-degree robbery and the always popular "criminal mischief" after punching a cab driver and stealing his money. Hey, when you grow up in Buffalo 20 cents is worth the effort....
Hockey Arrests! Aww, Just Like A Real Sport
Blackhawks star Patrick Kane was arrested this morning for punching a cabbie who didn't have the 20 cents in change he wanted. So that's assault, robbery, and I'm going to assume underage drinking charges for the 20-year-old. [Buffalo News]...
Alexander Ovechkin Is Here To Do Two Things: Play Hockey And Sex Your Women
And hockey season is over. Russia Today gets to the bottom Alex Ovechkin's life, complete with helpful on-screen guides. Revelations: He's ugly, sadness makes him cry, and sex is good. You're welcome. [Puck Duddy]...
Penguins Fans Crashes Stanley Cup Celebration
Have you ever dreamed of being on the ice with your favorite team as they hoist Stanley Cup, then heading back to the locker room for a champagne bath with your heroes? Go ahead! NHL security obviously won't stop you....
NHL's Horrible CBA Comes Back To Bite Them In The Ass
After years of the NHL screwing fans, a few owners are now trying to screw the league. No one weeps for Gary Bettman, because turnabout is foul play....
Crosby's Still Single; Perhaps You Can Have Both
A Pittsburgh-area man has offered what clearly was once an engagement ring in exchange for $1000 in cash, or $1500 worth of Penguins tickets. Sorry, you lovelorn schmoes in the nosebleeds, they "must be good seats." [craigslist, via Slanch Report]...