Hockey Page 682 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hockey Arrests! Aww, Just Like A Real Sport
Blackhawks star Patrick Kane was arrested this morning for punching a cabbie who didn't have the 20 cents in change he wanted. So that's assault, robbery, and I'm going to assume underage drinking charges for the 20-year-old. [Buffalo News]...
Alexander Ovechkin Is Here To Do Two Things: Play Hockey And Sex Your Women
And hockey season is over. Russia Today gets to the bottom Alex Ovechkin's life, complete with helpful on-screen guides. Revelations: He's ugly, sadness makes him cry, and sex is good. You're welcome. [Puck Duddy]...
Penguins Fans Crashes Stanley Cup Celebration
Have you ever dreamed of being on the ice with your favorite team as they hoist Stanley Cup, then heading back to the locker room for a champagne bath with your heroes? Go ahead! NHL security obviously won't stop you....
NHL's Horrible CBA Comes Back To Bite Them In The Ass
After years of the NHL screwing fans, a few owners are now trying to screw the league. No one weeps for Gary Bettman, because turnabout is foul play....
Crosby's Still Single; Perhaps You Can Have Both
A Pittsburgh-area man has offered what clearly was once an engagement ring in exchange for $1000 in cash, or $1500 worth of Penguins tickets. Sorry, you lovelorn schmoes in the nosebleeds, they "must be good seats." [craigslist, via Slanch Report]...
NHL Exec Shoots And Misses With Fox News Ice Queen
When a Florida Panthers executive went on Fox News to talk about unemployment, he did what we'd all like to do, if we had no sense of decorum or shame: he macked on their anchor like nobody's business....
One Fan Who Wasn't Invited To Super Mario's Pool Party
No wonder the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. They had a homeless, bipolar man sending them Christian music CDs, notes with dietary suggestions — no sweets! — and vitamin tips. And people say home ice is an advantage. [Post-Gazette/Puck Daddy]...
Aaron Ward Jinxes Himself Out Of Winter Classic
On July 16, Boston's Aaron Ward was asked about his team getting to play in the Winter Classic. His response: "Don't jinx me yet. I could always be traded." Nine days later, he was traded to Carolina. [National Post/CBC/Bruins Blog]...
It Could Have Been More Embarrassing. It Could Have Been A Lane Bryant
Former NHL enforcer Chris "Knuckles" Nilan busted for stealing a swimsuit from Lord & Taylor. Actual quote: "I just wanted to save a few bucks." [Patriot Ledger]...
Hockey Game At Fenway Park To Be Wicked Cold
Bruins officially announce that they will host the Flyers in Fenway Park for next year's Winter Classic, but they'll really have to fling it to get a puck over the Green Monster. [Herald]...
Warning: Don't Give Sidney Crosby Money On MySpace
Believe it or not, Sidney Crosby's MySpace page does not actually belong to Sidney Crosby! Oh, and if you gave the person who does run that page $500 to help save a park, you're an idiot....
Blackhawks GM Fired For Not Following Example Set By Cubs
Dale Tallon took over a terrible post-lockout Blackhawks franchise, combined shrewd drafting and solid free agent picks to build a young, exciting contender and was rewarded for his efforts with a swift kick in the pants. That's the Chicago way....
Quiet, Stoic Leader To Have Boring Retirement
Quebec Nordique legend Joe Sakic is calling it a career after 20 seasons in the NHL and not a single embarrassing scandal that we could all have a good laugh over now. What a jerk. [Denver Post]...
Chicago Blackhawks To Lose The Next 12 Stanley Cup Finals
Marian Hossa (who is 30) just signed a 12-year contract with the Chicago Blackhawks, after allegedly turning down a 10-year deal from the Red Wings. This guy really knows how not to pick 'em. [NHL.com]...
The Lightning's Draft Pick Really Does Read The Articles
Q: What's the last book you read? Viktor Hedman: "I don't want to say. The last one was Jenna Jameson, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star." Delightfully tacky, yet literately unrefined. [JoeBoltsFan]...
The Way We Live Now
Calgary trades a defenseman who'll be an unrestricted free agent on Wednesday for...another defensemen who'll be an unrestricted free agent on Wednesday. [AP]...
The Philadelphia Flyers Need To Stop Boozin' And Coozin', GM Says
Okay, that's not exactly what he said. But Flyers' GM Paul Holmgren does think his young team's nightlife activities may have led to some "fatigue" issues heading into the playoffs....
Hockey Insanely Popular (For Just One Night)
Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals was the most-watched NHL game in 36 years. So maybe when the league starts up again in four months, some of those people 8 million people will remember it exists! [LiveFeed]...
Don't Ask Marian Hossa For Stock Market Advice
The dogpile on Marian Hossa has been sufficient and thorough. The Wings beat Hossa's Penguins last year. Then the Penguins beat Hossa's Red Wings. Goat cheese....
Please Do Not Leave Your House During Game Six
So here we are again ... one year after Pittsburgh lost a tough Game 6 clincher at home to Detroit, we're right back where we started. Only you have to watch tonight's version on your home TV, you ingrates....