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Holidays, Ranked

Illustration for article titled Holidays, Ranked
Photo: Ulet Ifansasti (Getty)

Here is a list of (commercialized) U.S. holidays, ranked in order of how good they are:

  1. Christmas Eve
  2. Christmas
  3. Fourth of July
  4. New Year’s Eve
  5. Thanksgiving
  6. Labor Day
  7. Memorial Day
  8. New Year’s Day
  9. Halloween
  10. Valentine’s Day
  11. Easter
  12. Getting hit by a bus
  13. St. Patrick’s Day
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Reporter at Deadspin.

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