Horses Get Their Goose On

Controversy continues to shake the world of horsies who run fast. A Nebraska veterinarian is accused of injecting horses with vodka, I assume because it seems like a colossal waste of vodka, because I can't imagine why anyone would give a damn about horses being injected with vodka.

Do you know how much vodka it would take to get a horse drunk? Those bastards have to weight about 1,000 pounds. Unless the guy used a fire hose to pump the vodka into the horse for about 90 minutes, I'll remain unconcerned about the horse's health. In fact, I will remain unconcerned about the horse under most, if not all, circumstances.

If horses are athletes, then I say we start treating them as such. If it's wrong for Maurice Clarett to get his goose on, then it's wrong for Mr. Ed, too. If Brian Urlacher showed up vodka-drunk to a playoff game, would be chastise the bartender who put the vodka in him? No sir. No, it's time to put the blame here exactly where it belongs ... on these spoiled, millionaire, thug horses.

What kind of message does this send to all the young colts and fillies out there? That it's OK to show up for your job drunk? Someone's got to get these horses under control, or they're going to start throwing basketballs and gentle slaps at one another.

Hair of the horse? [SI.com] Yep, horses do respond to Vodka. (We know you've been wondering) [The Big Picture]