Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

On 2nd and goal w/ 20 seconds to go and one timeout, Marshall's head coach elects to center the ball and kick a FG rather than go for the touchdown. Who knew Pam Ward's vagina was contagious? -Insomniac's Lounge

Um, yeah, so I heard a rumor that this lady Pam Ward might be a lesbian? Any truth to that? -The Hog Blogger

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Pam Ward is probably the best looking woman in that stadium. -Colbypkp

Alright, that's all the Pam Ward bashing we can handle for now...

Gino Toretta just announced the starting lineup for Miami's offense. He also wants to know if anyone wants to hang out at Red Lobster after the game. -Sagerbombs

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I'm not sure if you saw Toby Keith introduce the Oklahoma starting line-up...but he looked like he was an understudy to host MTV's The Inferno. -MateoBC5

I was going to root for Oklahoma today until I discovered Toby Keith is a Sooner. If there's an example of everything I hate wrapped up into one person, he is it. All he's missing is a techno album and an ode to fucking my ex girlfriend. - I Heart Poop

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Since the death of Bo Schembechler, Michigan is 0-3. -AsInHowe

No awareness of irony at ESPN: talking about Maurice Purify's multiple arrests and no contest pleas while showing that he's majoring in Criminal Justice. -Signal to Noise

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There's nothing better than waking up, turning on gameday, and wanting to kill yourself. Thank Lloyd Carr. -goathair

Has anyone explored the possibility that Calais Campbell is Luther Campbell's bastard son and that's the real reason he's back in the fold at Miami? -Holly

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Anyone else psyched for the UB-Temple game? didn't think so. -eSaber

Due to a technical issue (The Maj is a putz) a bunch of the your IM's were lost in the depths of cyberspace. Sorry about that, but please keep them coming.

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Thanks to Southern Fried Football for the pic.

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