The Sacramento Kings invited magician Anna DeGuzman to media day this week to destroy the minds of various unsuspecting players. Friends, the tricks are good.

Harry Giles III has the best reaction in there, when the ace of spades turns up in his hand and appears to cause his brain to explode. But the two tricks that are very much fucking me up right now are the little “X” on Willie Cauley-Stein’s hand and the card-biting trick. I demand to know how those tricks are possible, right now. I am more Frank Mason’s despair than I am Giles’s wonder:

Screenshot: YouTube

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What the hell, man.