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I Was There, Spring Break Edition: "He Said, 'How Big Is Your Dick? 6, 7 Or 8 Inches?'"


In 2008, Chaz went to Panama City Beach for Spring Break with 10 friends. He found an 11th one night — a very friendly young man in a car. Chaz's story:

So our time in PCB basically consisted of waking up around 10, immediately going to the beach and getting drunk, going back to the hotel to shower, then getting drunk and going to the clubs. I'm guessing that is how PCB goes for most everyone. Pretty much every single night I would get separated from the group while at the club and have to walk home. Our hotel was not right on the beach so the walk home was always a solid 20 or 25 minutes. Obviously, I was pretty drunk on the walk so it didn't seem too bad.


One night, about halfway through the trip, I was making my nightly walk home by myself when a car pulled up next to me and rolled down the window. The car was empty except for an African American man in, what I think was, his mid 20s. He asked me if "I want to get my dick sucked?" Obviously I should have been horrified by this, but I was pretty drunk and took it in stride and calmly answered, "no man, i'm okay for tonight." He didn't beg or anything and merely said, "well do you want a ride?" Without even thinking I accepted.

During the five or so minute ride home we didn't talk much other than when he asked me how big my dick was. But he didn't simply ask the question - he turned it into a multiple choice quiz. He said, "how big is your dick? 6, 7 or 8 inches?" Of course, I answered. He dropped me off at my hotel and drove off.


In a life filled with stupid decisions, getting in that car is the worst.

Keep sending your Spring Break stories to Our favorite submissions will win the storyteller a free copy of Harper's Magazine's new sportswriting anthology, Rules of the Game.


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