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Iceland Turn Back Into A Pumpkin, Give Up Four First-Half Goals To France

Photo credit: Thibault Camus/AP Images

Iceland headed into their quarterfinal with France on the high of destroying England and sending the over-anxious Anglos into full meltdown mode. The entirety of Iceland has been watching their Viking boys wreck shit and play coherent, organized soccer, and an upset against France would be easily the greatest day in Icelandic soccer history.

Sadly, they are getting walloped. France played out of their minds and destroyed Iceland to the tune of four goals in the first half. The French had yet to score a first-half goal in this tournament, but they easily made up for lost time.


First, the devestatingly handsome Olivier Giroud made a simple run to get onto a ball from Blaise Matuidi and coolly nutmeg the Icelandic keeper for the opener.

Not eight minutes later, Antoine Griezmann hit a perfect corner onto the head of a charging Paul Pogba. Pogba’s would-be marker saw him, leapt at the right time, and got more or less dunked on.


Honh honh honh! Eeet eez Le Dab! Honh Honh!


After allowing Iceland some time to almost get some decent chances, Giroud (who somehow became more and more handsome as the game went on) played a perfect little knockdown to Griezmann, who set up Dimitri Payet for a chance to do what he does best.


Little Grizi got in on the action himself with a casual-as-hell chip goal a few moments later.


I can’t really blame Payet here.


Anyway, France became the first team to score four goals in the first half of a Euro finals match. France are going to roll Germany. Iceland were the coolest team in the tournament. Someone should pay £110 million for Payet. Giroud forever and ever amen.

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