That old saying, “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” is always good advice to live by, especially if the deceased is a 24-year-old who died in a tragic accident.

Gil Brandt decided that would be the proper time to castigate Dwayne Haskins following his death in April. On his radio program, Brandt said that Haskins was “living to be dead, so to speak.” He also took some time to criticize Haskins for leaving school early, because it’s such a terrible decision to go earn millions of dollars after throwing for 50 touchdown passes.

Brandt did apologize, but at 90 years old he should have known better. He would not appreciate someone using that type of language when discussing someone dead who he loved. A man was born, and died too young. All that needed to be expressed immediately following that was condolences.

While Russell Wilson’s sudden decline is obviously a big part of the Denver Broncos’ struggles this season, much of the blame can be traced back to head coach Nathaniel Hackett and his boneheaded decision-making. Whether it was counting on a 64-yard field goal to win the team’s Week 1 contest against Seattle, needing Denver fans to count down the play clock for you to avoid stupid delay of game penalties, or opting for a speed option play on third and short with tight end/fullback Andrew Beck, Hackett’s buffoonery never failed to amaze fans.

It should’ve been expected given Hackett’s response to the question: “Does it feel real like you’re an actual NFL coach, or that you snuck in here?”

Yeah, he really did sneak through all the cracks, relying on Ayahuasca enthusiast Aaron Rodgers to hide his flaws as an offensive play-caller. The team didn’t use Javonte Williams enough at the start of the season, opting instead for a healthy dose of Melvin Gordon, who later got cut in exchange for old man Latavius Murray. Every wrong move Hackett could’ve made was seemingly next up on his to-do list.

The Broncos were supposed to compete for an AFC West title this year. Instead, they became one of the biggest laughingstocks of the league. They are currently projected to own a top-five pick in the upcoming NFL draft, but that pick will belong to the Seattle Seahawks. Don’t be shocked when Hackett is told to kick rocks by the Broncos’ front office following the regular season’s conclusion.

Phil Mickelson took a hiatus from golf this year because he got caught on a hot mic while talking about his new Saudi Arabian business partners.

“They’re scary motherfuckers to get involved with. We know they killed Khashoggi and have a horrible record on human rights. They execute people over there for being gay. Knowing all of this, why would I even consider it? Because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to reshape how the PGA Tour operates.”

Reshaping the PGA, or an opportunity to take the black and grow villainous facial hair? Little column A, little column B? Hey, it’s Phil’s midlife crisis. Some people buy a sports car and get divorced, and others try to upend the sport that made them famous.

Ross’ firing of Brian Flores exposed an actual conspiracy that wound up costing the Miami Dolphins a first-round pick in 2023. Rather than simply investing in the quarterback he already had in place, Ross went chasing after a 45-year-old Tom Brady, tried to orchestrate a retirement ruse uniting him and Sean Payton, then got exposed for tampering in a lawsuit filed by the previous coach he’d booted.

Ross also allegedly offered a six-figure bonus to Flores to lose games, which is a dismissable offense. Of course, in typical Goodell Fashion, soft Roger let Ross off scot-free. (The NFL’s investigation indicates that these claims are true.) There were whispers Ross would be voted out of ownership and forced to sell the team by his fellow owners, but that would have been a bad look to kick Ross out while Washington’s Dan Snyder is welcomed back into the fold. It was a lose-lose proposition. Just the sort of deal Ross presented Flores with before canning him after two promising seasons.

What does this have to do with sports? Nothing, really. But fuck these theocratic goons.

No one could’ve predicted how poorly Urban Meyer’s stint as the head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars would be. He was more than a disaster. He let his team fly ahead so he could stay behind and be caught on video with a woman that’s not his wife, didn’t know who Aaron Donald was, and got himself canned in less than a season.

Of course, his idiocy didn’t stop there as he also made an appearance at Mar-a-Lago for a Super Bowl watch party. Perhaps he was able to rekindle Fox’s admiration as he slid back into a studio chair like his hand up that 50-something’s dress (allegedly).