Make no mistake, these would have been the most insufferable people on Earth if the Leafs hadn’t managed to blow a third period lead and eliminated the Lightning instead of losing 4-3 in overtime. You never would have heard the end of how they never stopped believing.

And these will be the same people who as soon as Brayden Point’s stuff hit the back of the net were bemoaning all the gods in organized religion and going home to pierce their own nipples to protest just how bad the Leafs have it and how they’re fundamentally cursed when all they really are is a pretty good team in a division with five pretty good teams and the dice just doesn’t roll your way sometimes. If they can’t rub their glory in your face and scream about how they’re the only true hockey town, all these fuckers will rub their misery in your face to try and equally justfiy their volume.

Look at these faces. They know what’s coming. They’re already preparing their YouTube videos from their basement with jars of their own piss in the background. And though they’ll never say it, they know it’s their fault. Their constant air-raid siren of a reaction for six months any time Auston Matthews stubs a toe makes every Maple Leaf utterly miserable and walking on eggshells. The Bolts will either win Game 7 in Toronto 12-0 or score five goals in the last minute of regulation to win 5-4. Matthews is leaving in two years to get away from this horseshit.

You can snort that shot and truly kiss the sky.