If You Can't Sell It, Sloganize It!

This is a special NBA Closer extra from Basketbawful

The Minnesota Timberwolves recently unvieled a new team motto/marketing slogan for the remainder of the season: "Let's Build It!" They even have a fancy blueprint along with a co-testimonial from Al Jefferson and Randy Foye. Of course, it's just the motivational speaking equivalent of GM Kevin McHale and owner Glen Taylor dropping to their knees and begging fans to please, please, please not give up on the team (and maybe buy some season tickets), but you've gotta believe, right? Who's with me?! Hello?

Even though most NBA teams already have a slogan for this season, there's still time to come up with something new to rally the troops around. Here are some suggestions. Eastern Conference Atlanta Hawks: Let's keep the Suns from getting a lottery pick! Boston Celtics: We have the best record in the league. What, you need more than that? Charlotte Bobcats: Buy the The Air Jordan XX3s, available wherever Air Jordans are sold! Chicago Bulls: You want guards, we've got guards! Guards, guards, everywhere! Cleveland Cavaliers: Crappy supporting players = more LeBron! No need to thank us. Detroit Pistons: Wake us for the playoffs...so sleepy... Indiana Pacers: No more arrests. We really, really promise this time! Miami Heat: Dwyane Wade will be back next year. Until then, more shots for Ricky Davis! Milwaukee Bucks: Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated! New Jersey Nets: Brooklyn or bust! Probably bust. New York Knicks: Let's blow this thing up! (Translation: Fire Isiah.) Orlando Magic: Who cares if we win or lose? Have you seen Dwight Howard dunk?! Philadelphia 76ers: City of Brotherly Love? Pfffft! Yeah, right! Toronto Raptors: It's time for the humans to face extinction. Reeeaaarrrh! Washington Wizards: Better with without with Agent Zero!

Western Conference

Dallas Mavericks: No! More! Bloggers! Denver Nuggets: See? One ball really was enough! Golden State Warriors: Defense is just waiting to get back on offense! Houston Rockets: It's the Great Space Coaster, get on board, on the Great Space Coaster, We'll explore! Los Angeles Clippers: We're sorry. So very sorry. Los Angeles Lakers: Jack Kent Cooke's balloons are back in the rafters, if you know what we mean (nudge nudge, wink wink). Memphis Grizzlies: Brian, Darko, and Kwame - A foundation for the future. (Of course, it's one of those post-apocalyptic, "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome" futures, but still.) New Orleans Hornets: We can't believe you aren't gonna give CP3 the MVP. Bitches. Phoenix Suns: Let's slow it down...okay, slow it down...wait for Shaq... Portland Trail Blazers: "No playoffs" just means "Fewer games 'till The Greg Oden Era!" Sacramento Kings: It's Sacramento. What the hell else are you gonna do? Seriously? San Antonio Spurs: We're not older. We're wiser. Seattle SuperSonics: Reach inside our mystery grab bag! You never know what you're gonna get! (And neither do we!) Utah Jazz: Who needs excitment when you have the Jazz?!