The 15th annual Summer Redneck Games happened on Saturday, in East Dublin, Georgia, and we weren't there. This we regret. Thankfully the Macon Telegraph did attend.
Where you see a moderately insensitive publicity stunt, we see a hotbed of sport, of physical triumph in the arenas that matter—watermelon-seed spitting, armpit serenade, bobbing for pig's feet. More importantly, we see good, clean, God-fearin, rifle-totin, Krispy-Kreme-eatin, Skoal-chewin, Mountain-Dew-drinkin' fun.
As practiced by Captain Redneck, say:
Captain Redneck ruled the annual Redneck Games on Saturday with a beer in hand and Confederate flag tied around his head. His cape — the Georgia state flag — bristled in the warm Middle Georgia breeze.
The self-proclaimed super-hero, Elliot Campbell, traveled from Statesboro with more than a dozen friends and fellow Georgia Southern students.
It was his first time at the annual event, which has continued to draw international attention since its launch in conjunction with the 1996 Atlanta Summer Olympic Games, but Campbell said he wanted to make an impact.
"I just want to get people enthused to be out here, be patriotic and just have a good time," he said.
Or watermelon-seed-spitter extraordinaire Hunter Bell:
Beall, who has attended the annual event since the first year, said he had been practicing since mid-June when watermelon season began in south Georgia.
"I came in second (place) two years ago. I said this year I was going to leave with the Bud Light trophy," he said holding the prize topped with a crushed beer can. "I brought a big crowd to come out and represent for my people. This is my home and this is my country. The redneck nation means a lot to me."
Or Rob and Rawni:
Rob and Rowni Sprague, who had a redneck wedding by getting hitched at the games in 2008, kicked off the main event, holding hands as they dove into the red clay mudpit.
The Warner Robins couple comes back each year just to jump in the mud, Rowni Sprague said.
"It's good times and good people. I love it," said Rob Sprague.
God, these people are so delightful. We're going next year.
Redneck Games draws old-timers, college students alike [Macon Telegraph]