Important College Football Picks

Illustration for article titled Important College Football Picks

College football! Do you root for the school you attended? Or are you just some asshole who likes to root for some team you have nothing to do with? I don't follow it because I hate indentured servitude and polls.


But here are the teams that I predict will win, today:

VT, Michigan State, Clemson, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Syracuse, Marshall, Tulane, Ball State (buck up, Dave!), Purdue, Iowa, Kentucky, Miami (OH!), Temple, Kansas State, LSU, Illinois, Stanford, Washington, Florida State, Wake Forest, Central Michigan, UCF, Navy, Western Michigan, Bowling Green, UNLV, Indiana, Vanderbilt, Oregon State, Baylor, South Carolina, Mississippi State, Arkansas, Rice, Tennessee, Harvard, University of Phoenix, Reed College, London School of Economics, Police Academy, USC, Huxley College, and National American University.

All of them will win by 6 points. Now hurry up and gamble!