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In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!

Pure blogging brilliance from 100 Percent Injury Rate over at FanIQ: While digging through the suddenly free Sports Illustrated archives, they've discovered a 1979 Frank Deford article about what the NFL will look like in the year 2000. It's as hilarious as you think it is.

A few awesome highlights:

"The coaches will begin to dress alike, and maybe there will be a machine out there doing the coach's job. It'll be second and four, the guy will punch a button on his chest and—wonk, wonk, wonk—he'll say, 'O.K., run off tackle.' " —John Madden, Former Coach, Oakland Raiders



"I think you'll have a lot of women playing quarterback by 2000. For one thing, they have a higher threshold of pain." —Byron Donzis


"The 25-yard end zone is the single greatest thing that could change the game. The whole concept of goal-line defenses would change with that." —Marv Levy, yet again

"We'll see equipment that will be supportive of body functions. I'm visualizing devices that will allow a player—a receiver, say—to jump two or three feet higher than he does now. Or we'll put a strong enough biomechanical device on a quarterback's back so he can pass 150 yards, which will be important, because the field will have to be that large by then." —More Byron Donzis

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God, you really have to read this article. By the way, that Byron Donzis you've never heard of? He's "a Houston inventor who invented the first football flak jacket." He invented a lot of weird shit. Here's guessing Frank Deford doesn't use him as a source again anytime soon.

Guaranteed Hilarity: A 1979 Take On How The NFL Would Look In 2000 [FanIQ]

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