Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

In these trying times, let’s all come together to laugh at a cop eating it

Illustration for article titled In these trying times, let’s all come together to laugh at a cop eating it
Screenshot: Twitter

We may be on the brink of a civil war, or seeing every structure of the country crumble, and even if we avoid those fates there’s still the matter of an out of control pandemic killing thousands by the day and showing no signs of stopping and we’re still months away from anyone showing any gumption to do anything about it. Maybe.

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Rare are the islands on which we can all fit and be comfortable, and this probably isn’t it given the temperature of our country, but a good many of us are going to get a chuckle at least out of this cop going teeth first into the pavement in pursuit of this other dude.

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Cris Collinsworth would definitely say the cop’s angle is all wrong, while noting the heart and determination he was showing.

Matt Vasgersian would take note of the Statcast in the corner showing the top speed of our competitors, and probably mention that wouldn’t get you waved in by the third-base coach.

Many football analysts would wail and bemoan the personal foul call that sapling would assuredly be flagged for on a blindside block. That’s how you sacrifice for your team! That’s how they teach it in high school!

Eddie Olczyk would use the footage of this toe-pick to tell you all the stories about when he toe-picked in the NHL, almost all of them occurring when he was a Winnipeg Jet. Being a Winnipeg Jet is a toe-pick in itself.

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And your literature teacher would tell you this is another fine example of how slow and steady wins the race, especially when you’ve got a round, doughy flatfoot in pursuit with the agility of an old labrador. Lessons everywhere, children.

Have you ever looked at a dollar bill, man?

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