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Iowa Hawkeyes

1. Jeff Horner Induces Pee-Phobia. If you're ever in a bathroom with Jeff, watch out... he may slap your ass. And then what will you do? Surely you can't just go on holding it. That's bad for you. Probably give you cancer. Also, Horner is Iowa's best player. Watch out ... he'll be leading the Hawks beyond the first weekend.

2. Everyone Hates Steve Alford. Not just students either, every one in Iowa and I ain't kidding. Nothing too unusual about that; lots of people want the coaches of their respective teams to be fired and often Web sites are made for that specific purpose. What's unique is that Alford has been a decent coach, and this year Iowa has exceeded expecations. Problem is, Alford is in the unfortunate position of being constantly compared to football coach/god Kirk Farentz because they came in at around the same time. But it's not just wins and losses that matter to the fine people of Iowa. Alford is perceived as a douche bag who appears in commercials for fancy suits and acts like a king when he walks into local restaurants.

3. Iowa Vs. Iona? This is a serious potential Elite Eight matchup. FANTASTIC. Try saying Iowa and Iona alternately as fast as you can. It's tough. How could anyone possibly explain the result of this game without mixing up the two? A glorious day awaits.


Jason Spidle

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